OK...

I'll be ok...I'll be alright...a slip to the left, a dodge to the right, a misstep in beat to timing unsettled...never understanding what or how these possibilities culminate in departure, in discard, in an attempt to hurt, to lash out at exposure and truth spoken.

But the spirit is strong...the will to continue in knowledge of years and years of trying, of giving, of bending until we come close to snapping in two, that we have done all in our power to fix, repair and mend broken fences, build bridges across moats of terror...one misstep and you are back where you started.

My dear friends...no matter what life brings, no matter the sorrow or grief, we continue...

We live and breathe in hopes of more...we learn to lean into winds of change, lean into gale force winds that threaten your very existence...we accept that all is not always well...and we continue.

God knows the heavy crushing weight of despair that resides within ready to spill out and over your cup...and in His strength we continue...in His almighty grace and mercy we continue...broken yet not defeated...bruised but not shattered...

God knows the crushing weight of disappointment and absolute rejection you live with...riding just under the surface as you desperately search, seek and find beauty in everyday things, sights, smells and taste...navigating a mammoth swell of grief with all the aplomb and fearlessness of a professional surfer; teeth gritted and bared, chest heaving, arms outstretched for balance as you make your way through the barrel of the beast overhead and all around.

Survivors my friends...survivors learn all, and I mean ALL, the intricacies and pitfalls of navigating a path to healing, to truth, to finding themselves once again...survivors learn at the hands of their master of monstrous deeds how to live to see another day...and in the end must tackle the hardest battle of all, leaving that person behind. Finding a way to subdue hyper-vigilance in the face of continued irrational behaviours from a man who should be in the past but refuses to stay there.

Keep this in mind when you have the impulse to speak on 'why don't they just leave?'

'Why can't you just let it go?' 'You should just move on, move forward with your life!'

Ah yes...the ultimate in fantasy...believing that someone who spent time and energy to torture, torment, abuse and abase with such glee and joy would think to do the logical...

Ah no...they do not...they pursue, stalk, sneak, revile and use social media to attack and conquer...but yes, please tell the survivor how to best move forward in these situations..

This life...free of the abuser, even with the stalking and threats still posted and promised, blah, blah, blah...this life is good, is amazing...this life tastes of promises given and kept, tastes of love in the truest sense of the word, tastes of good people and better friends and family all loving, accepting and cherishing.

Love saves dear treasures...it molds broken pieces into pottery of stunning beauty...

Grace and mercy bring hope to hopeless minds, turns despair to joy de vivre, shines a magnificent and glorious light into the darkest of recesses...

Judgement...kills...

Entitlement and false victimhood...deludes and devolves the human spirit...

Let us lead with grace, let us lead with acceptance for each person and where they are on their own personal journeys...this opens the floodgates to renewal and rebirth.

May God bless your lips with love, may He bless your mind with clarity and understanding...

May He bless you with eyes to truly see and a heart to enfold in compassion and kindness...