She...

"She had a troubled mind, but she never realised this was her strength. It never occured to her that this ghastly curse came with a very important mission. She had absolutely no idea that she was fulfilling heavenly prophecies. She was the healer they had written about thousands of years ago, she was the unbelievable inscriptions detailing stories of the magician yet to come.

She changed people's lives, unknowingly. She got people through their darkest hour, she helped them to choose to live. She articulated their grief, made them feel normal for thinking the things they did. Now, I want you to believe me when i say she was not of this world, but I had my doubts, sometimes. I was sure as hell, that angels shouldn't look so sad, or suffer like she did. I was absolutely positive, that such a divine being should be easy to spot, a mile off.

But she wasn't, she was just like me and you. Her heart, I can say, without doubt, was no fictitious tale. It was metatphysical, mythical, celestial. She never found sweet jouissance whilst on this plane of existence. We didn't deserve her. She didn't belong here. She was homesick."

For a friend:

This recently came across my tiktok page. And with the line 'she had no idea she was fulfilling heavenly prophecies,' I began to weep, and weep, and closing my eyes sought the heart of God...and felt/heard God whisper:

'Your mom was not meant for war. She was not built to be a warrior, rather a healer.'

You were meant for war.

Born for this.

A warrior, from the start. As a young, young child:

And so the war began. Angels colliding with demons as fate took her hand and led her through toil and trouble...pain and sorrow knocking at her door with every day that came.

Battling brothers...battling a father who protected her against all others but himself.

Battling a mother who did not and could not understand this small child full of sensitivity and anger, sadness and war.

Battling those who found her an odd, misplaced, solitary child, ungainly teenager, and floundering adult. Missing the grace that flowed through her fingertips and kindness expressed through every gesture.

A warrior's motto of 'Harm none.' And 'never allow anyone to ever feel the pain i've felt, from me.'

Battling men who sought only to own, to control, manipulate, use as a screen for their secret lives, abusing in small and large ways...

Struggling to protect those closest to her, while unravelling the anger living within at the senseless injustices committed consistently, no matter what was said or done, she felt powerless to stop evil in its tracks.

Yet God...built her for this...gave her a place in this world to overcome, to fight the battles, to become a warrior for the unwanted, the lost, the traumatized.

Much can be done alone...one person can change things with determination, with persistence, with long-suffering.

We are many, however, and can accomplish much together.

May this view of pain, of suffering and the bearing up under abuse, create a rebel, a warrior within for those like you, like her...each one without a voice, silenced effectively and strategically.

Speaking on their behalf, reminding each one what they are truly worthy of, women upholding women...all things possible, all things. Isn't it time we take our power back in every area? Justice could use a hand, drastically.

The police no longer solve crimes, they no longer prevent...they are left floundering by an outdated system and consistent operations at the ass-end of the pyramid.

Constantly cleaning up messes with little time nor inclination to deal with the overwhelming number of domestics that abound in this country.

Let us look to the future, let us plan ahead for changes, for an end to abusers walking free and continuing their dismantling of each and every woman they can pin down long enough, who will buy lies hidden behind smiles, and charm amid lofty self-proclamations of greatness, kindness and love.

May your eyes be open to the disturbing numbers racking up daily, may your heart be open and strong to stand against abuse when you are confronted by it.

May God bless you with a warrior's spirit...