You....

'Be yourself, everyone else is taken...' Oscar Wilde

This morning I awoke with questions circling in my mind...dreams quickly flitting away with the breeze flowing through my window. Who am I, exactly? Who do I hope to be...where do I hope to be...I am searching always, in all things I set my hands to...my mind to...the work I do everyday, the extra weekend job...who am I here and am I fulfilling the highest standard?

The emotion of leading a small crew...holding them to a standard of hard work by leading, by giving my best every moment of the day....watching them grow in strength and confidence, the correction...the guidance that at times is dropped, discarded or ignored...seeking to do better, to be better....

Dear hearts...every day we step out is a day of triumph....every moment taken to survey the good, the bad and the ugly a milestone on this path we call our life. Ignoring the fear, the trepidation and showing up for ball...oh they do not know how much It takes to just show up let alone trot out onto the ball field and believe in myself, to know my worth, to have confidence in something I've done for so many years...but I do.

We know, my friends...we know what it took to do just that...embrace it...place it as a trophy on that shelf of accomplishments in our minds, in our hearts, in our spirits so in need of confidence, of healing and processing. Giving love in response to anger, forgiveness in response to bitterness, grace and mercy in response to judgement....this is life-giving...watering the ground we step out on, shining a light to guide the way...

This is our secret weapon friends....this is our salvation. Not the fight for justice, although that is necessary as well, and right. Moving on with this thing called life, but not as automatons, ghosts, or zombies...rather with joy unceasing, with grace for the moments we can't do but plan on coming back to, with mercy for ourselves and others....with love in our hearts and discernment on who, what and how we give it out.

There is no give up in your heart...look at you walk out every minute of every day....look at the strength it takes to get up in the morning with a smile on your face...look at the courage necessary to show up; for work, for play, for family, for friends.

Is there anything you cannot do? The enemy would say different, would whisper lies and filth in your ears...the very opposite of what is being said to you, this is the truth they cannot bear to speak for it showcases their weaknesses, their foibles, their secret pain that goes deep, deep within.

You are warriors, each one...though hurt, though broken down in so many pieces it seems impossible, improbable that you would still be walking, talking, breathing...but there you are.

Take heart my friends...take strength in this knowledge. That despite the trauma, despite the sorrow, despite the battering your spirit, your soul has taken you still stand tall, you still walk out on that battlefield to try once more, to lift that heavy sword over head to battle the enemy. I am so proud of you....you stand in grace, in love, in mercy for the unlovable, for the very one who takes you down on that battleground every day. If that isn't strength I don't know what is. Build on that dear lost ones and move, find your way out of that un-winnable war, that pit of vipers, that unbreakable rock you continue to chip away at.

Until they choose to change, you must seek your peace, your freedom from fear...from torture...is it not torture to get up everyday and fight for someone who will never afford you the same depth of love? You know deep within...that child speaking inside your heart, your mind...knows...sees...understands...you need only listen to the wisdom whispering, shouting, yelling to get your attention. You are worthy of so much more...worthy of love, of grace and mercy, of commitment, of a partner capable of meeting you where you stand.

Go with God today and every day...may you know His love for you and see your worth from His eyes, His heart. Worthy...you are worthy. Lovely...you are lovely. Stand tall, speak softly your truth and rise warriors...stand and take up your sword and fight now, for you...for your peace...for those young ones with you...for the innocent...for that child within you....

You are worthy.