Loss...

It's a funny thing, loss. It drops into the well we call life and ripples out...and out...and out, touching those closest, nearest and dearest and radiating out to the teller at the gas station who no longer sees your return. The daughter and sons, brother, mother and father, nieces and nephews, cousins, uncles and aunts....and myself...who mourn the loss, who grieve today...who stand, who falter, who sit in stunned silence with tears streaming at odd moments...who laugh at a memory, who sob at another....May God wrap His loving arms around each one today and each day to come.

Today a great number of us mourn someone I thought would never die...we mourn a man who I thought would live forever. God had other plans...He called him home to enjoy, to walk and talk with...to rejoice as His family stands together, to mourn as we mourn...

Today I mourn a friend...my children mourn a father...his parents mourn their son, grandchildren mourn their grandfather... lifelong friends mourn Kenny, a man of will and passion...a man of energy and intelligence.

Today I am once again reminded of the need to truly live...to truly move in this life with intent and purpose allowing no one to derail our goals, our dreams.

I struggle for words this morning my friends...my heart breaks for my children...for their pain, for their grief and sorrow. I would speak life and love, forgiveness and grace...

Tell those in your circle you love them...you value them...

Some of my last words to him were with filled with laughter, with friendship, kinship and the love of a lifelong companion. We shared a vast love for our children...

Today I go to work and take the rest of the week to be with family...to offer comfort, to embrace in love and compassion, to speak words of encouragement...and pray it is enough...I go to share stories, of memories and the love he had for each one.

Jordan...his little girl...to him she walked on water...she was everything beautiful and lovely to his heart and mind. Smart, capable...a force to be reckoned with, she can walk into a room full of people talking quietly or not at all and within seconds have them laughing, talking...

Kevin...ah Kevin...his firstborn son...smart, athletic and full of a zest for life...like a full wattage bulb lighting up a room.

Leo....a pure sensitive soul...second born son a stunning replica of his grandfather...close to his heart, his companion and roomie. He saw his ability, his intelligence, his old soul wisdom and unconditional love.

Axel...the last born son and child...tall, incredibly smart...seeing the world as it truly is and still caring for each person in his life...a heart too large to house in his chest but hidden all the same. An athlete with no path he took on projects, and blessed with an entrepreneurial spirit akin to Kenny's own but larger by leaps and bounds.

He saw each child, each family member as his own for life...forever...even myself. Gathered into the fold after a few years of stutters and stops, a friendship we fought for and maintained throughout these past years.

I go today with a heavy heart but with memories that float to the surface and stay...reminding me of what is good, what is right...I will go and love with all my heart and soul and fear none...

Death reminds us dear hearts, dear treasures, that we are finite...that time is finite...do not hold back...stay not in a situation filled with hate, with derision and pain....find your path to freedom from fear and abuse...what waits on the other side is love, is forgiveness and grace, compassion and joy....