Lost...

I woke this morning after a restless night of ups and downs...I woke with life on my lips, with sun shining in my mind as a single beam of pure golden light illuminating the heart and mind and blowing clear lingering shadows, malignant thoughts and soothing a grieving heart...

Oh my friends...I have been so lost....I say this with no need for sympathy only understanding for those who walk this road, who travel amongst a foreign landscape laid over top the normal, the usual sights...

I had thought to have reached the light at the end of the tunnel when in fact I had escaped the pit and stepped into the soft light of healing...walked willingly into the warmth of loving kindness...moved steadfastly through an uncomfortable world of exposing soul wounds, revealing cuts and tears in the spirit...stepping gingerly as surveillance and safety remain the first course of action...

This morning as I sip my hot cup of heaven this revelation strikes deep...dear friends, those friends who have suffered or still live in the pit, surrounded by danger and a world of pain, I would ask patience, long-suffering and a surfeit of love, of compassion and empathy.

Each day brings new revelation, new sights, and the unveiling of familiar things...a prickly porcupine has nothing on the feeling of every nerve ending on fire as they, we, walk through each day searching for meaning, for the reshaping of life into something resembling normal, peaceful....quiet.

The mind quiets...the spirit calms...the soul soaks in, bathes in the warm light of love and distributes it amongst the heart, the mind and spirit, bringing clarity...creating a long lost friend, peace.

There is no guidebook, no handy handbook that gives the survivor a step by step winning plan to healing, to a life of love, of self-love and acceptance...no dear hearts, we each must move through this world at our own pace, in our own way moving in and around obstacles as they before us...

We move from complete darkness into soft, healing light for a time...oh God knows exactly what we need my friends...He knows and each step is measured and gracefully given....each footfall landing with a little help from above, like soft path lights marking the way...we are given just enough illumination to show the way...no harsh lights, no sudden moves...just God's grace in everything we attempt to do...

With pride....with a love that beats the hell out of anything on this earth, He stands with Hands held out in love, in compassion and with pride as we reach each marker showing our progress....such joy He feels as we begin the journey, so proud as we take up courage and steadfastness in spite of the overwhelming fear, the terror that strikes the heart.

God is so proud of you dear treasures...as you take each day in hand and live your best life, handing out kindness and compassion despite the sorrow weighing down your heart, despite the fear that never quite leaves your mind....

I'm so proud of each one of you...and so incredibly thankful for forever friends standing beside, they're there with you dear treasures...appointed to you, for you....

While we may feel lost dear hearts....there is one who knows exactly where we are, always.

While we may feel alone dear treasures...there is one who stands with us in the gap, always.

Never alone....

May you go today in the knowledge that there truly is a light at the end of the tunnel, a light set just for your wounded spirit....the light grows as we do, until one day we awake bathed in its glow...warming our hands, our minds, our hearts, our spirits, in its heat....

My friend told me one day that she saw the girl I used to be rising to the surface...ah that girl, full of life and belief in the future....God saw...oh I believe God weeps, His heart breaks at the tragic events in the lives of his children...just as we do. We feel their pain....

How I bathed in that glow for days....knowing that what she was seeing was truth, yes...but also rising from the ashes as a new vessel holding all the parts of me that were and are to come.

I bear witness today dear treasures, dear lost ones....there is life, oh there is a good, good life waiting on the other side of fear, on the other side of anguish and pain. All things are possible...all things...

'Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Mark 9:23'

And so we move forward, one tiny step or one giant leap...it matters not. We move forward no matter how fast...it is not a race, it is a marathon...a distance run differently by each one.

Run your marathon today, in your own unique ways my friends....stand tall, walk proud and hold your worthy head high....you are loved, magnificently...for you have been fearfully and wonderfully fashioned just as you are, unique and like no other. It makes sense then does it not that we would run our race unlike anyone else?

God go with you in all that you set your mind to...may He watch each step you take and encourage another and another until you reach your promised land.

Bless you dear treasures...May Gods' blessing of courage, of strength, of grace match your steps...