Pity...

'The feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortunes of others.'

This morning I sit once more by a crackling fire on a slow burn and sip my hot cup of heaven. I ruminate, rummage, rifle through emotions that threatened to overwhelm, came in hot and heavy more than once this past week. I made a promise to speak truth, to dig deep and as one beautiful soul once told me, be raw and open in your writing. My heart wants nothing more than to be positive in all things; in all thoughts, speech, and emotion. Unfortunately this positivity cannot always be maintained, nor controlled. The emotions that flood the survivor, the lost one are anything but positive...they smash, punch, dig away at the foundations of our mind and spirit regularly as things happen in the moment for those still suffering in the pit, or as memories surface with annoying frequency.

The heart stutters in place, the conversation drops away and we are enfolded by disassociation...welcomed into the place of refuge...the brains thoughts switch off as it processes what is real...if the threat is present or past...

Dear friends...in the moment the brain cannot tell present from past, does not differentiate between then and now and so moves into protecting what is left on the table...what sanity is still present, what spark still flickering in the deep dark....cowering in fear, covering that tiny bushel of light and thinking only of one thing....

Survival....

Oh do not be fooled dear hearts...when in danger the human race trips and stumbles back into the stone ages, into the days of fighting for survival against all enemies....we are instantly transported to absolute basic survival instincts, until we come up gasping for air...

This week as I walked about the big city I was inundated with the energy of so many thoughts, emotions I stumbled a time or two. Flying out in a clear sky I looked down upon so many and what struck me once more was the many, many suffering in fear and trepidation...fighting for survival, hoping for rescue...souls I had not met but felt in a wave so large I had to switch off somewhat as I prayed, as I sent thoughts of hope and faith, of courage and comfort.

I have no knowledge of numbers in regards to the abused, the trafficked, the tortured...however through a few contacts in the medical field, the police force and victim services I know stories that would raise the hair on the back of your neck in response. The very human capacity for evil that makes my story feel like so much fluff, despite the horrendous experiences with that sorry excuse for a broken boy masquerading as a man of honour, of character.

It is all around us my friends...an epidemic on this continent especially...the number of cases of domestic abuse would blow your minds...and those are only the reported occurrences.

The larger percentage of the female population (and those few men) do NOT report, do not seek help...perhaps they have witnessed the broken judicial system, perhaps they know intrinsically that very rarely do the perpetrators see justice given, see the inside of a cell.

My heart reels, it stumbles in empathy, in sorrow for the next victim, in fear for the next source of blind adoration and adulation and when presented with so many suffering souls I am abruptly sat down in the dirt and the muck, crying out in prayer and grief for the lost souls fighting everyday to retain their sanity, to survive the torment present in their daily lives.

I would ask today for your compassion...your kindness and love for those around you, paying close attention to triggers, to blank stares, to the signals that someone is suffering.

Be kind...be patient...to yourself and those around you...we know not what they go home to.

Love saves dear treasures....oh it saves, it holds back from the brink, from the edge...

Love keeps the lost soul here on this planet...it gives courage and hope...it showcases what love is NOT...it holds a mirror up to the evil and banishes it to the depths...

'And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.' John 1:5

Stand tall dear hearts...walk proud...speak your truth, with kindness, with grace and mercy see your life build all around you, beneath you and above you as you walk it out.

God bless you today and each forward as you make your way through the battle you fight...known, seen and loved....loved so from a Father who is so proud of you, so proud of the strength and resilience you show every minute of each day, setting your feet upon the ground despite feeling weak and unable. Walk in that love my friends...

Isaiah 40:31 - 'But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.'