Pure...

You loved with a pure love...an all-encompassing love....and It was handed back to you, hurled back....thrown in your face, stomped on...belittled, besieged, disparaged....

And still you picked your heart up out of the dirt, dusted it off and tried with more...

More understanding...

More compassion for the hurting child within....knowing intimately that damaged child looking for love...

More grace...

More mercy for the monster lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce...thinking like Esther with King Ahasuerus you could come with offerings of loving forbearance, with gifts and be granted entrance into the kings special chambers...be given favour as you come and kneel with grace, with dignity, with purity of heart....

Oh dear hearts...this morning I cry with a sorrow that no longer has sharp claws...no longer cuts so deep...the damage was done, the spirit ground down into dust...however, it no longer has the power to keep me there...

God is so faithful...faithful to heal, to come with a comfort that blankets each and every cut, every bruise to the soul....

I have come to truly see the depths to which we had descended...no wonder it takes so very long to find peace, to do the work to bring our head up and out of the deep water we've been held under....

I have come to see the true nature of the beast...the evil deeds perpetrated on our person....

Ephesians 6:12

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

There is a broken child within that monster...never healed...just festering in the depths of their black soul....oh I know that sounds harsh dear friends...yet those who have gone through the shit, the crap, the blackest of nights know this to be true....

Think the grinch...whose heart was so small and withered and dark....please hear my heart today....it breaks for the innocent and the monster alike. In each of us there is a lost and broken child walking the wilderness searching for purpose, for love, for healing....the difference between us is this...we choose love, we choose kindness, we choose to bring light to the darkness, to the lonely and hurting....

The monster chooses to seek out pleasures to quiet the child...seeks out pain, torture, games fit for a child to quell the demons that reside within crying out for salvation from the continued torture of the mind....it was for this broken, hurting child I cried...I tried....again and again and again...for that wounded child wandering the wilderness, always seeking and never finding for the adult man denies, abhors the truth....and so continually crushes the spirit of that innocent one living deep within his (her) psyche.

Know this my friends...there is no saving them ourselves....it will take a miracle of giant Godly proportions to save the lost child within the monster/s....oh how it breaks my heart to admit that...but it is truth....pure truth...unless that monster has a Damascus experience....where Saul became Paul on the road to Damascus...where God met him in person, in the form of a light so pure, so bright it obliterated every shred of darkness...and we cannot stick around and wait for that to happen. We can believe, hope, pray...somewhere far far away...

You are not meant for sacrifice...not meant to lay yourselves on the altar of their ego...

I tell you now dear hearts...dear lost and broken...it is NOT ever God's will for your beautiful spirit to be used that way...to be trodden upon, broken and smashed to pieces...this is not God's will...

He means happiness for your soul...He means joy unspeakable for your spirit...He means love everlasting and true for your heart....

Oh I hope you hear me this morning...I hope you see the truth today and every day forward...

You are meant for better, for more...

I read something this morning and I hope you see what I saw....

The law is meant for the lawless....

'We also know that law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy...' 1 Timothy 1:9

They seek to live right...even convince themselves and others that they are upright people....doing the right thing...and yet...walk into the home and maim, torture the ones they confess to love.

My prayer today is one of hope for grace...for mercy...for forgiveness....while knowing that there is better...there is more...there is joy in the morning, free from fear...free from betrayal...free from abuse...

My prayer for you today is that your eyes would see...truly see...your worth, your place in this world....you are meant for good...meant for more....

My prayer for today is one of thankfulness, of gratitude for the place I now stand in....thankfulness for the Hand of God in my life...gratitude for His strength through the process of healing and moving forward...for the renewal I feel each morning as I rise and brew my coffee...for the forgiveness I have found when I feared there was nothing left...

I see my spirit healing...stitch by stitch....oh dear hearts....the wounds that have been inflicted are not meant for you...were never meant for you. 'You are not your trauma,' I read this when I rose this morning and thought well, of course we are....trauma has defined for so long the victim knows nothing else...everything else is just a faint memory....until we step out...step away and take our lives back...walk away, run away and take control over who has access to our hearts, to our spirits....we are no longer the wounded, bleeding thing walking in the wasteland...we become who we were always meant to be. Loving creatures walking in joy, in strength and rejoicing in victory...

May God bless you today with His strength...His wisdom...may you walk today in the sure knowledge that you are meant for so much more than the animal you have been brought down to...May you see who you truly are in Christ....worthy....worth of all that is good and lovely...truly my friends....no matter how far down you have been beaten God is there....the strength of a warrior is there within you....placed by the Father of all things...it may seems so small at the moment, just a kernel...a mustard seed....but oh...watch it bloom as you walk your path...it grows and becomes a mighty tree that shelters in the worst of storms...roots going down deep to stand strong in mighty winds....this...this dear friends is what you are meant for....whether standing in the magnificent rays of the sun or finding shelter in the blowing rain....you will stand...in love immeasurable, in joy unceasing, in peace that passes all understanding....I declare this to be true....I have watched that infinitesimally tiny seed bloom and grow over the months. When I felt sorrow and grief pushing me flat with emotion, with tears...I ran to that shelter...I ran to God...and found surcease...find it every day...every minute of every day I see the Hand of God in my life....in the love of family (thank you Auntie D (my son who never judges, just loves and loves), in the love of those few incredibly faithful friends (you know who you are) and the acceptance and kindness of co-workers...

Stand tall dear hearts...walk proud...carry that big stick and speak your truth with grace, with dignity and stand for you...