A Beautiful Day

Every day is a beautiful day away from the Monster that has controlled your life.

Oh yes, there are so many things to tend to.... a place to call your own and so much more to deal with. But oh dear hearts... you are free!!!

Free from the constant verbal assault (but I'm just joking, can't you take a joke?), the angry verbal assaults, the mental warfare consistently played out;

- dating sites 'accidentally' seen

- pictures of other women

- chatting with 'friends' while you are allowed no one of the opposite sex to be a friend

-half naked women on fb reels and on and on.

You get the picture as you are all there or know someone who is there experiencing it.

The silences, the withholding of affection and sex, the 'you don't do enough' comments, the 'you don't pay enough but I'm not greedy for money,' the never knowing if today is the day he flips a switch and verbally beats you down for hours and hours unceasing and unflagging in energy or hatred.

The emotional damages, the physical threats, the physical beatings......

FREE.......FREE.....FREE!!

No longer will you wonder about who he's talking to, what type of live online sex he's paying for, what type of hardcore porn he's into now, what dating sites he's on and who he's talking to....

No longer will you wake up wondering if after a night of the closest snuggling he is going to jump out of bed angry over nothing.

No longer will you be wondering when your fall from grace and the short period of calm will come to an end.

No more. Listen dear ones, I am free and while it is bittersweet it is sweet none the less. Bitter as it is the death of a dream. However, like Johnny Depp said 'you are a construct of my mind, nothing more.'

We believe in the person they first showed us, that caring and sweet and funny human being is a lie. A complete and utter lie. An alter ego built to bring the sheep in.

And so we grieve someone who never really existed and that, God.... that hurts. This is what we must release and let go of in order to move into healing and the beauty that awaits us.

you ARE worthy.

My daughter once told me something that has stuck with me.

'Mom, you are worthy of a magical kind of love.'

I believe that true for us all. We are worthy of love and acceptance. The kind that the monsters give themselves and no one else.

We are worthy of tenderness, passion, compassion, kindness and so much more.

And do you know where we find these most basics of human emotions?

On the other side of the Monster. It is within us... We certainly handed out the craziest kind of unconditional love to the abuser in our lives, did we not? So now we must turn that unconditional love around and direct it first on ourselves and one day on that special someone who will come around and surprise and amaze us with the love that we so deserve.

Fight dear hearts.... fight for what you deserve.