A glass of Wine and Solitude

June 8th, 0715

How is it possible to be SO consumed with your thoughts? To live inside your head so utterly and completely that nothing really sinks in, as if you're in stasis. A state of shock almost. Oh there are days one feels as though they are stepping out of a fog and seeing the world clearly once again. The greens are greener, the sky a little bluer and the sounds of birds unmuffled again. How did I miss how loud swallows and robins can be?

I sat on my deck on a big comfy chair, after a fairly productive day and drank a single glass of wine.

Taste hadn't quite made an appearance yet but the wine bubbled and slid smoothly down my throat while i looked across the field at the cows dotting the field. Everything is SO full of color and vibrance, the scene so idyllic and comforting that I had to stop to take a breath and just drink it in. For the first time in longer than I care to remember I felt.... content and at peace. I recognized that this may be fleeting but it was a start and gives me hope for a future I thought was impossible just a short time ago.

It will come dear hearts, it will. They say time heals all wounds; I do not necessarily believe this idiom, however, the wounds are becoming less and less everyday so perhaps there is something to that worn out phrase. Time, I know this, is the only thing that brings me out of the depths of the pit I have been stuck in. Suddenly there are steps to the top and free and clear air just waiting at the top if only we will climb there. Climb my friends, I can attest that it is well worth the effort, to finally, oh god, finally taste free air again.

God bless you and keep you safe. Stay strong dear ones.