A Good Day to Drive...

The past couple of days have been spent as usual...in the bush, on the lonely isolated FSR byways crisscrossing this province until seen from the sky it resembles a patchwork quilt, a coat of many colours...one of those days was spent alone driving the Sutherland and Trout Forest Service Road checking on sites and checking on the smaller offshoots to maintain accessibility...deadfall across the road is a constant and consistent issue especially in the areas once hit with wildfires.

Oh the peace as I drove into Ormond Lake...more deadfall blocking access to the back sites...as I parked my truck to get out and walk the area the sun shone blindingly brilliant on snow covered trees, iced over water with such clarity and beauty I stood once more in awe at the wonders of this earth...the peace, the quiet soothes my soul...mends the broken places immeasurably as I breathe in the surprisingly warm day... seven degrees in December is a gift and I thanked God for His blessings.

Each one has something that does just this for them...I recommend returning to nature and communing there, meditating there...but I know that some would find that same peace in a gym lifting weights with the tunes playing in their ears, others taking a run to free the mind and remind the body how to breathe and release the stress...some find it sitting a church and drinking in the singing, the worship of a creator that has proven to love us where we stand.

A drive through the town I made my exodus from that fateful frightening day felt good, felt right as I headed back to base and the completion of another amazing day of work. No fear...no flashbacks...oh there are memories but the feeling, the emotion that stood out the brightest was relief...as I drove by the road I lived on for that short time I laughed in thankfulness, I spoke out truth as I drove by and perhaps a middle finger raised to scratch my nose....no more fear, no more wondering who they're talking to now, no longer in fear of rages and manic moments...oh I soared past on wings of angels, knowing full well that I live and have my breath because of God's grace, His protection and never ending love.

That larger than life person, that charlatan, fraud, illusionary master pales in comparison to the men in my family, in my in-laws family, in the tough, salty characters I had the honour of meeting throughout the summer and wildfire deployments.

Oh God took pleasure in showcasing exactly what true men, real men do...and what they don't do...

They do respect and treat with care and attention...

They do live up to the commitments and promises and words they've spoken...actions follow the words...creating trust, creating safety....

They do live out loyalty and truth...safety again...

They do love in all the right ways...protecting and thinking of your needs first before their own...

They don't belittle, bemoan, besmirch...

They don't use their anger as a weapon...

They don't put their hands on you in rage and a thirst for destruction and seeing bruises on you, bringing them delight and a sense of ownership and control...

They do not cheat, lie, betray...they don't need a constant source of attention from women, whether on the internet or in real time...

oh my friends....it is so simple, so clear until it isn't...the lines get blurred by misuse and abuse...by gaslighting, triangulation and word salad...your boundaries are picked up and moved incrementally until one day you wake up standing at the counter making sandwiches for his lunch and stop, look around and wonder how you got here...no longer sure, no longer confident, no longer trusting your own mind.

How insidious...how truly evil to break a person down to the point they feel they no longer know their own mind, no longer have faith in their own hard won wisdom and experience.

Poof...gone in a flash of the bulb...serving the puppet master and fearing a fall from great height if they leave, if they run for their sanity, for their life...

Epidemic...I've said this before and I will continue to declare it to any and all who will listen...with grace, with compassion, with mercy and understanding...but declare it I will...there is NO reason, absolutely no reason a woman (or man) should have to go through that hell, no reason they should feel unworthy, ugly, useless, horrible, when all these things belong on the shoulders of the one verbally spewing them over you, whispering them in your ear at your most vulnerable...neglecting you, abandoning you to such a point you feel invisible, see through, unseen, unloved, undesirable, unwanted....

My wish, my prayer is that each lost one would find their feet, would stand in courage and defiance, would know their worth...seek deep down in the hidden, protected recesses of their mind, their heart, their spirit and breathe life into that tiny spark still fluttering in the darkness...

It is possible dear hearts...God is all about possible in impossible situations...

Waymaker, miracle worker, light in the darkness....

I would speak life to the weary, to the lost...a light in the darkness guiding the way to freedom, to a life filled only with kindness, filled only with acceptance and the feeling of being cherished as you are...

Just....as....you...are.....

Rise sweet friends...there is a strength in you untapped, waiting, seeking release...'be wise as serpents, harmless as doves...' stand and speak your truth....stand and walk out your path to life and love...