Aggressively...

I now take steps to aggressively and purposefully guard, protect, watch over my mental health...encroaching my boundaries will be met with a tossing away to the four winds...I may explain my stance or I may just walk from whoever and whatever is causing me anxiety, playing upon my nerve endings as a harpist strums chords on her harp, plucking each string with resolve, resolution and determination....

This morning as I sent out an invitation to meet for a swim, words were used...bandied about without my input until I stood up, spoke truth and met word games and mind-f*ckery with a verbal shutdown; talking to, speaking to the intent behind the words and my lack of need for such antics.

I was asked...'am I a serious person?' Gotta give credit where credit is due for something new on the plate...another way of stating too-high sensitivity, trigger happy dance or can't take a joke with creative word play.

I no longer entertain this crap...my friends...this is not our lot and oh the freedom to know I do not NEED nor want their undivided or divided attention....

I crave peace and privacy...I create peace and privacy and stand guard for that broken woman still mending, for that child so often lost and alone...no longer will I abandon ideals and principles set for myself in order to make others feel comfortable...

We CAN give out kindnesses...extend compassion...bestow grace and mercy....all without sidestepping our own needs and wants.

I have encountered two specific gentlemen pushing or attempting to push past boundaries in order to understand how far they can get...word play is an attempt I am wise to but in the past have been more patient than necessary, been kind when kindness was not necessary...rather a teaching of who I am to all comers...

I have encountered others who pay respect without need for reinforcing my boundaries...these are true men...if there is an interest it is expressed above board, honestly and with understanding of how women work, how each should be treated no matter who they are...I sit with a heart of gratitude for those true men leading by example...for without those examples I would be hard pressed to find positive speech to describe the opposite sex.

This past week has been a test of growth, of wisdom, of speaking truth with kindness and grace yet with steel...with intent...

I sit once more with tears of thankfulness for my place on this path, this journey of healing and growing, of climbing that mountain and seeing the valley below laid out in all its majestic beauty...

This is what we are meant for dear treasures....worthy of love, of goodness, of kindness and respect. I will teach where needed, walk away when necessary and above all guard the heart and spirit of the child within.

May God bless you with confidence, with knowledge of who you are in Christ...Queens and Kings each one...it feels strange, off putting and odd to stand for ones self when all you've known is serving, is giving...it feels wrong but oh, when we stand...when we guard our walls with truth and wisdom...we shall see the beauty rise, the walls strengthen with titanium and know true peace...weights fall to the ground, the weight of concern over others feelings and thoughts...you know of what I speak...we wish to never harm nor hurt another human being for we know how it feels to be degraded, demeaned and live in a land of cruelty and mean-heartedness.

It can be done with kindness...baby steps dear hearts, baby steps...stand, whether tottering unsteadily as though on the deck of a mighty ship amidst a terrific storm; stand firm, feet set wide to catch the sway and roll, and speak...your voice may be as one in the wilderness, leading others of broken nature to rise, to fly free of fear and the invisible prison they currently reside in. To find courage in words of another who has seen some sh*t, knows some sh*t and has escaped it all...

May God bless you richly, deeply, truly, madly with all strength, with all courage to face the storms that blow your way...

May you know the love of a Father who never leaves, never forsakes and always and forever stands beside you...

"If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there."

Psalm 139:8

No matter how far we sit in the depths of despair, lay at the feet of fear He is there....always.

Rise dear friends...dear lost ones...there is life and life more abundantly waiting for you...there is no timetable but what is between you and your Creator...you will never miss His purposes for you...He waits in patience, in love, in long-suffering, in grace, mercy and compassion, in understanding of where you are, what you feel, what you experience day in, day out....

Find your spark, your peace and hold it close until you can fly free from that cage...loved, cherished and accepted wherever you are my friends. Love saves....