Begging....screaming for mercy...

How incredibly, bizzarely ironic that the one you scream out to...to stop, to please please stop...the one you beg for forgiveness and mercy...the one you try to please with everything in you because of love, is the only one you love.....

Truth my friends; you do everything in your power to please.....because you fear them. You fear their wrath, their rages, their crazy making machinations.

Whatever you call them......

Your partner...husband...wife...boyfriend...whatever name they take in your life...

Your daddy...oh hell, even mommy...

Uncle, grandfather, cousin....whichever moniker they answer to...you beg for it to stop, you beg for real love, the true and sappy love...the kind that holds in protection, not in control.

The kind of love that gives as much, if not more, as it takes.

The kind of love that respects your boundaries.....reveres them even.

To clearly lay it out for those that believe that the victim lacks boundaries and that lack is what landed our asses in the violent predicament we find/found ourselves in. In a prison of the victims own making....

Oh dear people...please give your mind room for truth.

The truth is this; boundaries are drawn in the sand from a life of experience in dealing with many many personality disorders...from bi-polar to the varied psychopathies listed in the text books. The lines are clear...defined, and you think...immovable.

The predator, let's call it what it is dear friends, seeks out his victims from a small pool of choices. They choose the strong, the confidant, the career driven....the happy and free spirit....the confidant-in-who-she-is woman.

The psychological warfare that is done on the victim, to the victim is far too intense to begin to explain. The constant little battles, the little jibes, the occasional condescension and contempt that peaks through, the biting and pinching in fun, the cruel words used to shock and torment, the secret social media platforms with naked women, that the monster allowed me to see occasionally, to keep me guessing...to keep me in line and wondering, always wondering. The silences....the rages that were, at all times, on simmer ready to erupt at any moment...the women he called friends that were at one time much more, cheaters every one of them, side pieces if you will....the slow but crafty gaslighting that leaves you doubting your own sanity......the all-the-time fear.... that all-consuming fear of when, not if, he would begin the build-up to a beating...to physical assault. The consistent jokes about where he would bury me, throw me down the well, smash my face in with a shovel, make me dig my own hole then push me in.....the physical threats were inventive, creative and ghastly....

Monster....it is far too tame a term to cover the men who take advantage, who prey on those they consider the weaker sex. Evil lives within them and similar to a serial killer must be let out to play, to conquer, to heap abuses upon their victims...and similar also in that they need to brag, need to receive recognition from the women who support them despite knowing exactly what darkness lives inside....know exactly what the abuser has done in the past.

Evil lives within these side pieces...it must or the evil in the abuser would drive them away, drive them to speak up, drive them to revile the man they call friend.

Today is a day of contemplation and sheer shock at how blind the world can be.

The exception, rather than the rule, are those who stand for what's right...stand against tyranny in any form.

I do not know the new supply...the new victim in all of this...but oh how I wish I could save her from the pain to come. I wish I could spare her what I've learned, find a way to articulate so she would see who he truly is.....and run.

Right now he is love bombing, as only a giddy boy-child could with a new crush...I remember those days...you are shown someone who does not exist, but could have. You are shown who he could have been if he had taken a higher path.

Until it's gone...and the de-valuing begins...the discarding...the pulling back that is so extreme after the love bombing that you live in bewilderment and confusion, all the damn time. Until you work harder to re-awaken that giddy love.... see where this is going?

You will never...ever...ever...attain that level of love from the abuser again, or if you do, the period of time that it lasts gets shorter and shorter and the evil begins anew.

I hope you will join me dear ones, in no longer putting time into someone who is sucking you dry. No more chances, no more 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances.

Life awaits...a good one. A peaceful, happy life free of evil living in the same home.

God be with you and keep you safe.