Cater...

You cater to their needs for fear the love leaving even while yours remains, through the rages and stages of torment.

You watch them crave the attention of women, need it in a sick way in order to feel good about themselves and the life they've created.

Jockeying for position, for a glance cast in their direction, fueling desirability, perversion and lust, never staying with one for long before casting for the next.

You encourage, lift up, support... all the things you desire in your love being cast to the ground and stepped on with derision, with disgust for your willingness to shine in such a sweet way.

Judged, heartily judged and found wanting...never reaching perfection in the eyes of your beloved.

The monster rides upon waves of self-acclaimed glory and prowess...

The monster sails upon seas of serene falsity, delusion and psychosis. The rudder guiding the ship the promise to avoid self-reflection and self-doubt, that is for losers, for the weak.

The lover continues forward through storms set to destroy, to debilitate, to dominate...through strength of character and warmth of heart and spirit she loves, forgives amidst the leaching of self, of her innate inner person.

This is strength...

This is bravery...

Stupidity in the eyes of those who understand not...who stand uninformed of the need of a highly sensitive person to create love where love does not exist, to bring light to the darkness...there is a pull to save with love, as we were never saved.

We understand trauma, do we not? We understand rejection and neglect, abandonment and cruelty mixed.

Yes...it is poetically tragic...a shakespearean novel of woe and love lost.

Smashed to the ground to rise again and again until one day we admit defeat...we find within ourselves a loop hole to climb through.

A crack in the wall, a breach in the bars holding you in place.

And you emerge, broken...bleeding...but alive....free...

The sky bluer than ever before...the grass greener...mountains catch your attention as you drive...the sun hitting the vast lake just so, creating prisms of light that blind the eye with beauty.

Eventually the mind repairs...it catagorizes the events in alphabetical order, placed in tomes on the shelves of mind and spirit, to be occasionally re-visited to do more healing work.

It mends; stronger, bolder, better, wiser....

You will mend...heal...walk freer, lighter...

God be with you as you walk your path...may he bless you with strength, with courage, with love to save, to comfort.