Changes...

Change is going to come...in stutter steps, or in great swooping swales washing you along to your destination. I used to wonder when I would come to a moment in high places I could look back on the sheer mountains climbed, on the raging waters crossed...I yearned for change, ached for peace...dove deep into the pits, came up gasping for air...for healing and forgiveness...for grace and mercy...for the pain to come to an end, for constant sorrow to leave off hanging about my shoulders...

Everyday has been a study, a learning curve as steep as the sheerest mountain cliff...everyday something new learned and ground gained, if only an inch or two at a time...

I will tell you this...I struggle with patience in teaching the uninformed, in reaching the ignorant, in pouring out pieces of my heart and soul to create understanding in the face of the uninformed. Oh...the passion that arises...I walk away and chastise myself for moments of time that fly on the winds of frustration and change...I have come to know this dear hearts...this passion comes from a place deep within, a need to change the thinking around the victim/survivor.

'You should be grateful....'

'You should just let it go....'

'You should move on with your life...'

So many comments surprisingly from those in positions to 'help' those who have suffered at the hands of another. My reactions shine a light on my heart, my spirit and I work on more...more patience, more kindness, more compassion...and continue forward speaking my truth, with grace and dignity.

Grateful...for a system so broken it takes years to see justice...

Let it go...and watch self-esteem break down...watch the next in line suffer what I have suffered and then not take on responsibility for doing nothing? No...hell no. It is my responsibility to stand and speak...to ask for justice....

Move on with your life....bear with me dear hearts as I vent slightly for I know the heart and mind behind the words and I love...I understand the intent is pure....the irony is that I do move forward each and everyday...I move forward with healing, with forgiveness, with face turned to the sun...seeking new life....I reserve a small corner of my heart, my spirit for the fight that I believe to be so pivotal, so necessary...

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” – Edmund Burke.

And so my friends I move ahead...I forge forward in this small, one amongst many, fight.

Perhaps you see me as dramatic...perhaps see this as something that should be set aside...

Oh my friends...waging war is dramatic...as small as it may be, it creates a maelstrom of events...necessary to stand for good...and what continues to come back to me is this...

I am not the creator of the drama...I am not the monster hiding under the bed, in the closet waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting....on the heart that loves, that forgives, that extends the hand of mercy and grace....I may not be the creator, but I will be the finisher...no matter where it takes me...no matter where it takes the author of this particular saga.

Dear hearts...take courage and stand...there will always be naysayers...will always be the well-intentioned well wishers...it is up to us to speak truth and have a firm foundation to see the fight to the end...

Dear friends and family...the love and support and listening ear...move mountains and shore up that firm foundation. When I was told I should be grateful my foremost thought was, I am grateful every moment of each day that I wake with peace in my home...thankful for the love of family, of friends, of coworkers, of the support of a society built specifically and purposefully for women who have suffered at the hands of others. Everyday.

The next slew of thought was of frustration and a righteous indignation at the lack of understanding for where women stand and how incredibly taxing and difficult it is to take a stand against the evil doings in their life.

In the end, love shone through...grace smiled upon us both...mercy made an appearance...kindness and compassion and understanding gazed upon the face/s before me. And oh...I bow my head in thankfulness to a Father that never falters, that never fails, that never leaves nor forsakes us in the tiniest of moments....

Go today in love...and remember this....even the educated can be unaware, ignorant to the facts, to the state of your heart. Speak your truth dear hearts...speak with grace, with dignity and watch your heart heal...see your spirit stitch...your soul breathe in new life....with love...it truly does save us....

Go with God today and every day forward....carry Him in your heart and upon your person...and shine a light into the dark places...with love...