Confidence...

I stood today...I STOOD...and so I sit tonight in disbelief...in shock...in a growing sense of pride and rightness, oh the pure shining white light that is truth, that is God's strength coursing through my veins as I stood or sat in this case and spoke truth to a man who had a good hundred and twenty pounds on me and built like a Mac truck...

I spoke as he stood over a co-worker and threatened her, as he threatened physical violence to her person...once, twice and then I stood...Dear God, its me, Maureen, I'm opening my mouth.... with a confidence born of experience, of healing, of truly seeing who the coward of the day really was(see past abuser), I stood and spoke to personal boundaries, to a no being a no, that only with permission are you allowed to touch someone..firmly, kindly....and continued so over a 30 minute period of intense aggression and verbal barrage, until we stood as a team and set a consequence to actions, and hoped it held, that we had the strength to stand with the fear of reprisal. It held...

I drove home a couple hours later and wondered at my actions...I did not know how to process them, I did not recognize this woman... did not know how to sort out the pieces and fit them into a finished puzzle...until with a small prayer for clarity, they fell softly into place. I saw in my minds eye, God standing nearby, I saw a mantle of strength and clarity on my shoulders.

Dear treasures, I cried the rest of the way home; in thankfulness, in a gratitude born of desperation...of outstretched hand meeting the lost and the broken...desperate for a touch, just of his garment, just that...instead He gave me so much more, so much more....

There is hope at the end of that tunnel...there is peace everlasting if we only take it...there is the pure light of love awaiting our embrace, for us...worthy dear hearts...worthy.

This...oh the emotion that flowed from my fingertips...I contemplated keeping this post to myself...so much happening in my heart, in my mind and spewing forth from my lips...I arrived home last night and just sat...to gather thoughts, then to write as quickly as I could...I stood for a moment at one point, in front of the mirror...looking, wondering...who is this person that has risen to the surface? Pain, heartache, sorrow as deep as the ocean has washed ashore someone I know not...I hug it all close to my heart and sit in awe at the works of Gods hand...truly...two miracles in two days and I realize that though I believed, though I know with all that I have that God is able, a part of me sat in waiting and disbelief that it would happen for me in this lifetime...

God's promises are final...for you, for me...in THIS lifetime...move forward, stepping from dark to light..from storm to sunny skies...the waves have calmed upon the seas of confusion, fear, brokenness...instead dear hearts, there is joy...there is love...there is a hope that springs eternal...

You will not stay in that brokenness, I promise, I declare...I shout it from the rooftops...I sing for joy and delight in small things, in time spent with loved ones...in the sun shining through snow-laden clouds, showcasing the trillions of sparkling lights within snow and ice covered trees...each small thing uplifting my soul, mending my spirit, repairing my heart...

Every day away from the hell that was my life for a short but intense time is a day of healing, of putting miles and miles between myself and that part of my past...and there the healing hides waiting for your footfall, for your courage, and as you walk, crawl, run, stumble and fall that healing covers, soothes, mends...

Oh take it in my friends for it is GOOD...it is good, great, stupendously marvellous...peace, joy, love, hope and compassion soothe the troubled soul, calm the raging waters...calm the fear until you stand as the sun breaks through the clouds to kiss your face and marvel at where you have come, where your courage and determination has brought you.

Walk....

'If you can't fly, then run

If you can't run, then walk

If you can't walk, then crawl

but by all means keep moving.' Martin Luther King Jr

And one day the scales will drop from your eyes and you too will stand in wonder, in awe, in sheer shock at where you have come, where God has brought you. You will look back and laugh in downright disbelief at the smallness of the monster you left behind. That mountain they built, that persona they projected themselves to be; an illusion, a slight of hand trick.....the so-called wizard hiding behind the curtain is really just a little, shrivelled up, empty as a black hole, human being. (Wizard of Oz).

The road seems long, it can be...

The road seems full of peril and pain, it can be...

However dear treasures, compared to the hell you left behind it is nothing...it is within your scope, and the work being done is for you, for your healing and betterment, for your joy and return to the light of love and joy. For you. Everything you will battle will be in you...will be ground you cover within...

Stand...stand for you, for those around you that need your strength and courage...and every single time you will see your spirit grow until you can hardly contain it...until the love and joy burst from you in song, in laughter, in love....my cup runneth over...you will look for ways to love those around you as it builds and builds, pouring out on all you come in contact with.

A smile...a hug...a kind word...a loving gesture...a gift...or standing between cruelty and the victim...it comes my friends, it will not seem possible in the moment, in the healing process, in that journey fraught with peril and pain, but it does, it truly does.

Love saves....