Confusion and Chaos

Dark is the night....and yet one day after a full moon and the sky shows an alluring glow, a light unlike the sun for brilliance and yet all the more beautiful to behold. We may gaze upon the moon and suffer no blindness, suffer no consequence beyond an awe and a peace that envelops the gazer.

This morning it hides from sight amongst an overcast sky....hides its beauty and offering of peace from view. My mind, as every morning, is filled with thoughts...is filled with memories of good moments as well as the bad. It may sound strange but I prefer the bad most days. You see, dear friends, many survivors will tell you that the good memories only create confusion and chaos...cause and effect....the consequence of the good memories is more pain, increased anguish and a sickness of the heart.

The questions within begin...

The inner reflection takes on power as the fear board lights up; the fear of fault, the fear of 'perhaps I was the one who was in the wrong,' the fear of weakness regarding the abuser, the fear that maybe I'm the narcissist.

For every fear there are a thousand offshoots, paths, if you will, that lead only to destruction.

Destruction awaits in that direction my friends...destruction of will, of all that you are and have accomplished so far.