Cornerstone...

What...who...is your cornerstone? What do you gravitate to in times of trouble, in times of doubt and confusion....for each of us there is a go-to, a stop everything go and do for sanity, for peace, for life.... This morning I struggled despite a day of excellence yesterday...a day of training conquered. I awoke bright and early at 0430 and sat with my thoughts...joy has been creeping back into my peripherals, into the edges of day to day life and my heart is full, is complete with a knowledge that more is to come...that I haven't seen nothin' yet, each day I know this promise to be true. And yet....in vulnerable half-asleep moments the loneliness floats to the surface, inescapably popping into full view, demanding to be seen, heard and felt.

The grace is this...it does not linger long....

The grace is this...I am beginning to know my worth...

The beauty is this...I know I am loved, needed, necessary to at least one person...and that is enough.

The peace is this...I am free of the poison that almost drowned me, killed my spirit, dragged my heart through the muck and mud.

Free...from betrayal...

Free...from cruelty...

Free...from hatred...

Free....free to feel, free to be me without repercussion...without criticisms and verbal hijinks.

The things I miss were fleeting...gossamer filaments floating into and out of view...like a dream they floated, flew, dispersed...quickly forgotten in the cold light of day...

The things I miss...illusory....

Dear hearts...may you find your cornerstone and cling with all your strength to that rock, that foundation that keeps you in the here and now....whatever that is for you, hold fast and true.

When you despair, when you are swamped with fear and trepidation...step back and into that secret space where you house your truth, your foundation of rock.

Today I stepped back, took a breath and remembered that I have a God who understands...everything....knows all things...this my friends is my safe space....the rock I cling to...in all things I give Him praise, I give Him thanks...I look to the heavens and I weep in joy for the life I believed was over...for the breath in my lungs that was almost taken from me on too many occasions to speak of...

I look to my left and right...and I see, know, feel HIs presence...His protection....

I cannot begin to tell you the moments, the 'oh god' moments I thought it was over...saying goodbyes in my head, in my heart reaching out to loved ones to speak of my love for them in preparation for the end.

And yet...here I stand...here I bless the God who intervened...who sent angels to protect, to say no to the enemy at the gates....

ah my friends...there is hope, there is life, there is joy to be found...

I stand before you today and speak life...I sit beside you and speak truth...I lay beside you in that hole you've been dumped, pushed, prodded into and speak freedom, speak possibilities never imagined. Everything is possible...dreams do come true...there is a life of goodness, of joy, of love unceasing waiting for you, and you, and you....no matter how far down the rabbit hole you've fallen, no matter how deep you've gone to guard your sanity...you are seen, heard and known....God sees you dear friends....all things are possible...

“If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Mark 9:23

Mountains will be brought down, oceans drained, deserts flooded with life...to save you, to keep you, to deliver you...my prayer for you today and every day is that you would come to truly know this truth...that you matter, you are needed and necessary...

Do not give up, nor give in....there is a hope that springs eternal just waiting for your acceptance, your step of faith...may God bless you with the courage of a thousand soldiers of battle and the strength of the mightiest of men/women...may He surround you with love, with grace, with joy unceasing.

Walk tall dear Queens/Kings...speak softly and with grace speak your truth.