Daughters

well... it's been a most interesting morning... The writing was flying across the page before the site suddenly did its best imitation of the matrix and I was forced to shut down...aaaaand the post is lost. Most humbling :0

I had one of those 'ahah' moments early this morning after a rough and restless night of tossing and turning. As I suck back my second cup of heaven already thinking of the 3rd, I contemplate the moments of clarity I had this morning... the absolute firm belief that we have been missing something so very vital to our ongoing healing.

Daily dragging ourselves out of the pit of despair and grief that nips at our heels with the sharpest of teeth, patiently waiting for the very instant we grow battle weary, silently and with open f*cking arms welcomes us lovingly back in to the fold.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't fight this most every minute of every hour of the day.

However....the mental war becomes easier with every battle won, with every negative thought squashed...

with every declaration of 'I am worth it....'

with every kind word given and received....

with every miracle witnessed in a time short on good times, I see who we are meant to be dear hearts...daughters...

If you are a believer then it will read 'daughters of the most high God.'

No matter what higher power you ascribe to....know this... you are Queens....warriors....noble women and worthy of all that is good and lovely.

Psalm 139:14 KJV

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Marvellous are thy works; And that my soul knoweth right well.'

No more will we allow physical abuse to be inflicted upon our person(s). Only gentleness...

No more will we condone disrespect and mean spirited words... only kindness....

No more shall lies, betrayals and cheating be overlooked and forgiven... only true loyalty...

No more overtaking and obliterating of boundaries.... respect... only respect...

No more will we live a life of misery and distrust.... we will escape the chaos and mayhem inherent in living with a sociopath/pyschopath and breathe air free of that poison.

We will accept nothing less than what we deserve... a love worthy of a Queen and warrior.

Strong, brave and true....

I have begun to believe that life is possible, that good things are coming....oh I don't have it all figured out yet, no Maureens life plan to success, however... I feel it in my bones dear ones... good is coming. My granny had the gift of sight so they say, a strong Celtic heritage that I have somehow managed to weave into my belief in God and strangely, actually works. :) I try not to rely on emotion as I am not quite at the point in my healing that I trust anything I am feeling, but those bone deep feelings have some power to them. Some call it intuition, a gut feeling, an instinctual voice telling you to run. And you listen or pay the price...I paid the price too often to count, ignoring the voice in my head that said that this man was not for me and to...run.

I continually reset my boundaries to accommodate the monster...and slowly, but in a cunningly efficient manner every boundary was annihilated, until he was the god of my entire existence.

God help me...I will never again be willing to live in that zombie-like yet fearful environment....a puppet...I'm placing that plain jewel-less crown on my head and picking up my sword. With every battle won a priceless gem will be deposited... declaring to all that here stands a warrior, a Queen.

Pick up your swords today dear hearts... you have come so far and gained such ground as you could never imagine...God keep you safe and give you peace where you are.

Much love.