Empty Spaces...

From periwinkle blue to smoky grey skies in the blink of an eye....so begins our summer season. It was explained to me, by a well seasoned wildfire supervisor, that we were entering a dangerous time having gone into the fall in a drought that left us with dry-as-a puff-of-dust forest floors.... and so my prayers go to the men and women on the ground fighting to keep everyone safe and save what they can of a beautiful region.

This morning I woke with the gossamer flutter of half forgotten dreams and emotions came in like a flood...and I cried out to God....'take this from me...' After all this time I still feel...still ache...still wonder at the depth of emotion within me for what has been lost.

I cried out and asked God to fill the empty spaces, to take up the empty places that live inside my mind, my heart, my spirit....I desperately long for oblivion, for surcease from a love that no longer serves...that only hinders....

The grace is this....that I understand my hearts desires...

The truth is this...I know that love doesn't always work out...is not always returned....

I have a faith and a hope for the future despite the hurt, the pain and the feeling of loss and a heart that loves and never gives up, nor forgets.

The bible states .... 'But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you...'

This is not difficult, for while I feel all things that come with loss and grief, I pray...I pray for redemption, for salvation, for grace....God is a God of miracles, big and small...in the direst of situations, in the darkest of tempests God moves mightily and so I believe...

We feel what we feel...we ache, we cry, we weep....and this is what makes us human...this is what makes us special amongst the species that inhabit this planet.

The hope is that we grow in wisdom and grace...in dignity and love for all who cross our path, enemy or friend...

We forge ahead again and again, against all odds and accomplish things we never dreamed or believed possible...a God given fervour and absolute need for change, for the new and for the challenge...for the adventures just over that next peak...for a glimpse of heaven in that valley reachable only by foot on the most dangerous of paths...for a glimpse of God in the silent cathedral of ancient forests...to walk the path of those who came and went centuries, a millennium ago....

Dear hearts....we are placed on this earth for such a short time....instead of railing against the tears, the pain of loss and grief....I choose to embrace each emotion as a gift, as the sure knowledge that I am alive in every way possible; emotionally, spiritually, physically.

My prayer for you today as you so bravely place one foot in front of the other and live, is this...that you would have strength for the times of grief and the grace to bear up under the burden of love placed in your heart for others, that you would remember to love yourself in the same way and to rest in the comfort of God's mighty arms.

Go with God today and remember that He has made you worthy...worthy of all that is good and lovely...worthy of a love beyond measure, beyond your wildest dreams....worthy dear friends....stand tall, stand proud with the sure knowledge that you are needed, wanted, necessary and loved, always.

“The Lord bless you

and keep you;

the Lord make his face shine on you

and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn his face toward you

and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26