Experience...

I sit this morning, hot cup of heaven in hand, thinking on past events, present to-do's and future plans, goals, dreams...this morning i took the time to scroll through FB to catch up on where everyone is at and alternately smile, laugh, cry and dream a little of sitting at a trattoria in Italy, warm breezes stealing away the chill of winter until it is but a faded sepia-toned memory.

I came across a post that spoke of experiencing life in our own way...experience dictates this expediently, evidenciary moments shaping, molding, melding us into the person standing before the mirror. Grooves in the brains folds hold and keep our life moments fresh, keep our memories crystal clear for reflection, for contemplation, for change, for growth until the technicolor flashbacks no longer have the power to drain, no longer have the control over emotions, over our fear banks.

Interestingly enough certain portions of these snap shot polaroids lack potency, whilst others slam upside the head and heart and set us back on our heels a moment or two while we process.

Healing is never linear dear hearts...it does not follow a set path, a concrete set of directions...no sign posts guiding the way over hill and dale....each day a new adventure on this path of healing, of leaving behind the monsters that inhabited our minds, our hearts, our spirits, dragging us down to the depths and leaving us there in the blackness of confusion, of despair, of never-ending strife, chaos, rages and eruptions that rival Mt. Vesuvius...destruction and deconstruction of the victim a paramount goal, neccessary to their survival as top dog, as god in their own tiny brains.

Ah the delusion...you may say this is over the top dramatic, far-fetched, unseen and unheard....i would bring before you each victims story as evidence, stand each one before the mass of ignorance and trauma uninformed.

It is VERY real...to deny such is to deny healing, to shame and blame the lost one...

They live among us hiding such horrific actions behind closed doors, cowards each one.

They drag down to the depths and leave the victim there bleeding and broken with no clear way out...just prison walls and your warden...think Patty Hearst and her eventual capitulation in believing her captors her friends, her family....Stockholm Syndrome.

You come to believe you can do nothing without them...

' the psychological condition of a victim who identifies with and empathizes with their captor or abuser and their goals.'

Essential knowledge and can be taken across the board to those in the thick of domestic abuse...rarely coming forward to charge, to see the abuser punished by the law.

Mind altering behaviours...Mind control...cold blooded manipulation and mind games ensuring the eventual breakdown of the loved ones psyche, spirit, soul, heart into something maleable, moldable....

Take a moment before you assume it a specific demographic of woman (or man)...from the janitor at the office to the doctor, the police officer, the firefighter and every position in between...confident, career women succumb as quickly as those in more everyday life roles...the woman at H&R block, the Tim Hortons morning employee...once bright, confident women broken down to believe the lies of the abuser.

My friends, take a moment to speak comfort, to encourage, to drop a light of life within those around you...kindness costs us nothing but means everything to that woman suffering with bruises and sore muscles from being knocked around the evening before, sleep deprived to keep her confused and sent off to work....

Hear my heart dear treasures...you are more than the lies being told, being whispered, screamed, yelled in your ear...you are worthy of kindness, of love, of compassion.

Stand and take up your life, your heart, your mind and find your way clear....there is one who knows, who sees, who grieves and would see you free....

Waymaker....light in the darkness....miracle worker....He will make a way for you....you are worthy of more joy...you are worthy of less strife, less chaos, less heartbreaking rejections, betrayals, beatings....worthy, each one....

Walk proud, speak your truth with dignity, with grace and stand for you....you are worth it.