Faith...

Faith comes hard some days....or rather the strength to keep that faith bar up high...I am tired today; mentally, emotionally, physically. I see that it is not my faith that runs low, but my ability to believe that I am able. Able to do exceedingly, to give all that I have and have it not be enough...again....

This is the true worry. I am being taken out of my comfort zone, thus facing each day with a smile can be a challenge when at times I hear nothing but cruel words from the past. Dear friends I write these words today to encourage you to have faith...faith that God has placed you exactly where you should be...faith that nothing is impossible when you believe...and trust, trust the one who is ever present.

This previous tiny two-paragraph excerpt was from yesterday morning....fearful of not being able to handle the work set before me, not intelligent enough...not enough. Such lies....still present, hidden in the shadows just waiting to whisper poison in weak moments...in times of vulnerability and loneliness. Today over my cup of heaven I felt the need to just sip and sit...and listen. Listen to the One who made us all so beautifully, so creatively. Not one of us are the same...oh yes, there are similarities, traits that draw us to one another but we each one of us view the world through our own eyes, through our own experiences...through our own lenses. While some peoples lenses may be distorted by the need for gratification at any cost, most are kind, compassionate and accepting.

I see this everyday....in my small bubble here in this tiny town I have been welcomed and accepted by so many. Yes...there are the occasional who look askance at my personality and need for laughter and joy, but they are few and far between. I have come to practice being me...and yet, no that's not quite right is it dear hearts? Just yesterday while working outside in the beauty of a Recreation Site I came to the startling realization that I am still working out who it is exactly that I am...the one standard I have been holding to is speaking truth...kindly and quietly but standing on that as firmly and concretely as possible in every situation, while I work out who it is I am becoming after this experience.

One thing I know...as I thanked God this morning for His presence in my life, crying tears of thankfulness and gratitude for His provision...Everywhere I go, there He is...I carry Him in my Heart, in my Mind, Spirit, Soul....

I believe I will never be the same child, woman, individual I was before....as things knit together inside, forming bright pink scar tissue, the true woman will emerge...clean and whole and full of promise. Better...stronger...carrying a big stick but speaking softly with dignity and grace.

Dear dear friends...it is within us, this strength. We may not always feel it, quite the opposite in fact, but it is there...waiting to be tapped into. A bottomless well provided by God....dip into the waters of life, draw strength from the clear waters where no doubts exist, no fears dare to follow...the entrance guarded by mighty Angels...for you, for me.

Every moment of every day I pull from this space of safety and love....for every tear that leaks out, trickles down your skin..it is.replaced with an everlasting source of Love, of compassion and strength. God sees you dear hearts, He sees your brokenness, your faltering feet upon the path and His heart weeps with you. You were never meant for harsh things, brutal times, blatant abuses....You are meant for love, for joy unceasing....you are Loved absolutely, every part of you.

Go in God's favour today...lift your face to the sun and rejoice for this is not the end of your story..oh no, there is so much waiting for you on the other side of that mountain, out of that pit you have been thrown into repeatedly...rest...that is what I have been hearing for some time now...rest...rest in Him and find your strength once again.