Family...

Blood will tell...no matter the time you spend with family, they are always there...this is the principle I stressed when my children were small. No matter the issues, the frustrations...be there for family...at the end of the day it is family that will be left standing when others fall to the wayside. I have been so blessed to have friends that are like family...and family that upholds this principle...to have children that love one another despite the usual human failings, the usual human vexations...

Few in my family circle, or friendships, know of my situation...of my battle over the past few years...shame, embarrassment and just the gen-x way of dealing independently kept my mouth closed...it was with serious thought, discernment and a peace that passes all understanding that I decided to have a somber conversation with a brother...no matter what I may feel their hearts say about me, feel about their little sister it was time to reveal a few truths...let the chips fall where they may...

No matter how old we get, we are reduced to our childhood years when dealing with parents or our siblings...I had and have a great respect for my older brothers...despite the tumultuous, torturous years with an abusive father they grew to be men of character, men of honour and integrity, men of a hard work ethic...the wisdom and knowledge gained over their years could only aid in adding to my own wisdom and thoughts on this journey I'm on.

I fought for years for their love...and always had the thought, the feeling, the evidence that I fell far short of the mark...it wasn't just daddy issues...it was big brother issues...I love/d them so dearly and felt every rejection, every harsh word to the core. Until one year the father of my children asked why I continued to throw myself under that bus, expecting different results...and the lights came on...wisdom entered and took up residence in my heart, in my spirit. I could love them and understand who they were and are without taking on hurt...

In this place now...I recognize the continued need for acceptance, for love from the man in my life...as though that would prove my existence, my worth....Oh dear hearts...we are loved regardless of who sees our worth...we are loved...

No longer dear friends, no longer is there a need for this acceptance...only love and grace...mercy and compassion...forgiveness and a knowledge of my place in this world.

Stand and see...gaze upon the wonder that is available to you...the never ending love that gives your existence meaning...you are meant for good, for joy, for peace...meant for so much more than pain, for suffering, for betrayals and sorrows that stretch into the foreseeable future...you, dear hearts.....you. Loved without borders...loved with an everlasting love no matter where you are, where you stand or hunch...no matter how deep in the pit of despair, of walls running with regret and shame....loved right where you sit...right now. Right here. Loved....God is with you no matter where you go...no matter...

Romans 8:35-39 'Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? … No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loves us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

“NOTHING …will be able to separate us from the love of God…” God loves us so much that he gave His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for us. God’s love shows us that just how important we are to God.

The depth of God’s love is also that it reaches down to the deepest parts of our being. God’s love is deeper than our deepest secrets. God’s love can go down into the darkness of our worst fears.'

No matter how far, no matter how deep....He is there...holding out hands of comfort, of peace, of escape to a better place....

Stand tall dear friends...you are warriors all...strength and courage sit on your shoulders...you have been through the pits of hell, may still be going through it...you get up everyday and try again...over and over...that is strength of will...mighty warrior....

Walk proud and know your worth...no matter the words spoken over you...lies...all.

You are worthy of all that is good and lovely and prosperous...worthy my friends...walk today in that knowledge...I pray each step you take will lead you to life, to joy, to peace...

No matter where you are at this moment...each step will lead you to a better place...

May you know the comfort of the Father...the peace that passes all understanding come upon you today and every day forward. God is able...Waymaker...Miracle worker...that is our God...May you know this within each minute of each day as you make your way forward....

With God all things are possible...all things...know your worth Queens and kings....and live in that knowledge...you are beautifully, fearfully, and wonderfully created...