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Fight....Stand....Speak...Repeat

Early mornings have become my thing...and for anyone who knows me, while being a morning person, I have never liked waking up early. Thanks to a habit created while with my particular person, waking up... brewing coffee...enjoying the silence of the wee hours when all is dark and calm has become my time...my solace....my peace and contentment.

Adding to that habit with writing every morning I am able has been a catharsis of epic importance. I gather up all the stray thoughts of the night before; the musings, the reflections, the worries, the anxious thoughts, the revelations. With the burgeoning emotions I snatch up my laptop and think on titles until I can wait no longer and begin.


I begin....I begin to allow the dark and mysterious to float to the surface...I begin to speak on the unspeakable, the hidden, the shameful, the embarrassing, the humiliating, the absolute grinding wheel of inexpressible events in constant motion within me.

That which is hidden...

'Everything that is hidden will be shown, and everything that is secret will be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in an inner room will be shouted from the housetops.' Matthew 12:2-3


It is the express wish of every abuser to remain hidden...

It is the unadulterated command of every abuser that every evil deed wreaked upon your body, your mind, your spirit be hidden away....that you feel the shame to such an unfathomable degree that you never reveal or illuminate the darkness.

This is not a comfortable place...no matter how a woman (or man) speaks of the events that have led up to them leaving or thinking of leaving...know this....it is the single most uncomfortable undertaking they will do in their lifetime.


Every day I sit with my cup of heaven I am pushed within to write, to speak for those who cannot and I thank you dear friends for being my soundboard and for your kindness and compassion. The day my feed hit my regular FB page I panicked for a moment or two or ten until I remembered that I had prayed to find the courage to post where it may do the most good. I began writing for this very reason, but oh dear hearts not one post has come easy. Though the words fly across the page at times, so quickly that I can barely keep up with the thoughts pushing to get out, to be expressed, to be told...most mornings I stutter step, stop, pause, think and continue before the words are gone back into the hole they crawled out of.

For hole it is... a pit....filled with the darkest of deeds...the darkest of words...the darkest of actions...the darkest of depths that I have yet to plumb. To write of certain things would, I fear, cause many to cringe away, to turn away.

Dear friends...the truth is dark and dirty and filthy, is it not? The victims and survivors know of this place of gloom, of unlit places, of starless night.


If you have doubt or feel disbelief at what a victim or survivor reveal to you, know this....it is the single most difficult step they will make and must be treated with grace and compassion or one will crawl back into the pit of familiarity, of shame for something they had no fault in. No part in. And so I beseech you all...victims, survivors...and those who have the chance to listen, to provide a safe place to do so....do so with care, with loving kindness and the understanding that those who are hearing the story may react in a way that sends you tailspinning back to that place of shame and torment. Not everyone is equipped to listen...to give support...and that's ok. Speak softly...yes? With grace and fortitude make your story known and as you heal and grow and climb your way out of that pathetic pit of despair and trauma induced shame you will know where you are safe, and where you are not.


I ramble on in the hopes of making this truth known dear friends, dear family...

When a victim/survivor speaks it is not attention mongering, not for pity....it is for healing and for truth to be known, their truth.

When a victim/survivor divulges what is truly only the tip of the shitstorm iceberg...they are trusting you with their story for help...for a listening empathetic ear to aid in their surviving each day, each moment. You see my friends...their story is who they are, it has created the person you see standing, sitting, falling before you.

Do not shame...

Do not blame...

Do not victimize...

Do not add to the considerable weight of shame they already carry. Rather...provide a safe place for them to talk, to take it out and view it in the warm light of love and acceptance so it may be released and freed from their minds.

It....the darkness.

It... the fear, the anxiety, the feeling of loss and being lost with no tether, no foundation.

It...the horrible acts perpetrated upon them by the one they loved with everything they had.

You may be the one person who provides that tether to the here, to the now and holding them with you in love and prayer.

Go with God today dear hearts, and everyday. Turn your face to the Son and find your warmth, your heart, your love, and your place in this life, your purpose.

 
 
 

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