Free At Last...

This morning I sit lazily, I sip slowly, I listen carefully...this morning I reflect, I ruminate, meditate in thankfulness, with gratitude to a God who works out all things.

I sit and think on observations of the family dynamics, the coming together, holding to tradition no matter the grief I see pulling, dragging, dogging the heels of so many.

The tears in quiet moments, the sounds and smells and sights reminiscent of that person missing from the moving picture, from the scene and script.

The grace...the compassion...the love and laughter that revives the weary soul.

Ah what I would have missed out on if I had listened to that small voice urging rest, urging isolation. Family is meant to lighten the load, to share in the sorrow, in the burden of grief. It is what we do one for the other...love saves...compassion brings new life, new hope, new light to break through the dark clouds.

I took the time yesterday to detour to a friends house on the way home to my sleepy lil town and once again blessed beyond compare. Time spent with those who love, who cherish, who accept you where you are is a boon, a healing potion pulling one from the depths to sit and breathe free air once again.

There is life...there is hope...as I sit and sip my cup of heaven this morning with a healthy dash of holiday cheer and creamy goodness, I see...feel...know...the veil is lifting, the heavy heart that has taken up residence for so long has lightened...this morning I swear I could smell the scent of freedom...the feeling of lightness, of being free from the past descended upon me so strongly I looked down to check that feet were still rooted to the earth, firmly planted rather than floating across the surface.

It is faint...new...like the flower slowly opening its petals to the sun, soaking in rays of life, of warmth. Spring has come to my heart and sits in direct opposition to the snow and cold surrounding me. Life is returning...

One day dear hearts...one day you will know this feeling of peace, of being free at last...free indeed in every way. Physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally free from the monster, from the trauma that lit your world up in streamers of fire and artillery....free from the screams of active fire, free from raging rivers drowning you where you stand...

Free dear treasures...free indeed. Free to choose...this path or that trail...this mountain or that rock face...this stream or that river...this door or that window...no wrong choices my friends...only choices made without fear of repercussions, without fear of harm, of more trauma to add to the fast expanding darkness inhabiting your mind, your heart, your spirit.

FREE....free to love without borders, free to accept love and friendship....

Free to be.

This is your future dear lost ones...if you so choose. I would encourage you to choose you...it is not wrong, it is right in every way. Choose to love yourself and as much as you've given to the one who hurts you in every way.

Choose you. Stand tall. Walk proud and strong. You are worthy...

'You are fearfully and wonderfully made' and deserve more than abuse, hate, rage, selfish betrayals and beat downs.

Worthy.