Gift of Life...

Who was that little girl...set apart, rejected, teased...alone....different from the very beginning. Crazy strawberry hair, skin as white as the puffy clouds in a blue, blue sky...with the personality of an inquisitive bull, crashing this way and that in the name of curiosity.

Different...thank God for the people who came and went out of my life, depositing love and acceptance for this strange red-headed creature. I can count on one hand the incredible women and men who stood with open arms, who came with hearts as large and deep as the ocean...and more, remember them as clearly today as though it happened only yesterday.

In a family full of big characters and larger personalities I was the Sesame Street song...one of these things is not like the others...It was a long standing joke in our family that I must have come from the milkman, the mailman or the muffin man on Drury lane....one brother was convinced I was adopted and so convinced me as well. I mean it was only fair that he share this monumental revelation....the only hitch and glitch in the story...he believed I came from a moose....I didn't even know what a moose looked like at the tender age of 6 but I knew it must be bad.

I learned to tone down...to dilute....to be who I needed to be for those in my life who couldn't handle who I was, deep deep down. The wild child, the crazy ginger running through the orchards, alone or running after the Brothers hoping to cash in on their style of fun.

I have been feeling for quite some time in this healing journey that it is time to unleash the beast so to speak...to allow the true me to make its way to the surface...gently, with compassion for that young child who felt the need to hide, to tamp down the person inside who was misunderstood....

My thoughts for today run to leaving behind the thought that I need to adjust to each individual I meet in order to be accepted. Dear friends I hope you hear my heart today. What I am so hoping to express to your understanding and comprehension is this...you are worthy as you are....loved for who you are...do not hide the truest parts of you to find approval...to find love.

Right where you are, deep down inside lives the being you were created to be in all your beauty, wisdom and character. This journey from trauma, from heartbreak, from mental and emotional anguish requires going back...all the way back to where it began.

Start at the beginning dear hearts and see where it began....that need to make others happy to alleviate your own pain, to see others accepted and loved to bring joy to your own life.

Oh yes, caring for those in your circle and without is the key to a fulfilling life...I believe this...however, not at the cost of your own mental health. Self-care, self-love....the newest acronyms for placing boundaries and walls made of the strongest of materials to protect against predators out only for destruction and pain, against the well-meaning yet hurtful actions of those you believed to be friends.

I remember watching one of my boys at such a young age protecting his young heart automatically...four years old and wiser than most adults...still to this day he sees people for who they are with no judgement beyond knowing that they will be allowed limited access to his heart.

Dear friends....guard your hearts, your minds....speak your truth and walk tall, walk proud of the bigger than life person you are. You are accepted, loved, needed and necessary.

Go with God today and every day...may you know His comfort and His peace that passes all understanding no matter where you're at right this moment. May you walk in His peace in every circumstances.