I Am, It Is....

I do not know....some mornings, some moments...they run together, out of my control...slip through my fingers like sand in an hourglass, pouring out into the stream of life...into measured and weighed importance...I hang on with all I have and watch as things beyond my control spiral into yesterdays, into the past, into moments slotted for pulling out and examining later. The 'could I have done that differently' questions...the 'where, why, and how's' become the commonplace markers along this path, this journey.

I live each day with resolve, with determination, with face forward looking for joy, for emotional and mental sustenance, for clues dropped before me to point the way....until I hit that valley of bones that predates all future endeavours and pulls me back...flashes a sign of warning for pitfalls, for dry and thirsty ground in need of watering, in need of healing...

I will not lie dear hearts...there are days like this often...you see, the ground within your mind, your spirit, your soul, that is in need and will remind you to stop...to halt there on sacred ground....on holy ground within you that requires more, requires sacrifice, requires diligence and most appreciably bucketloads of love, of grace and mercy, of compassion for the wounded woman within. I am filled with hope, with joy, with love and laughter....filled to overflowing and it is here that we are prompted to stop and take time to water that dry and dusty, rocky ground.

It is here we must listen to that still, small voice and allow healing...allow the tears to fall, allow forgiveness to come, allow grace and mercy to flow from our fingertips and plant deep the roots of love, of compassion, of kindness. Oh, it is not easy, nor simply done.

I am pushed, consistently and constantly pushed to my limits as I walk this valley....tears well at inopportune moments, my heart beats sluggishly, limping along through the wilderness until I rest...until I release all feelings of loss, of regret, of remorse, of all things that hold me. back...

Give yourself these moments my friends....before they become larger than life, before they knock you on your collective asses. I speak from experience....some days I stop in wonder as I survey the changing landscape within and realize I have been walking wounded for days and wondering why practical things are harder to accomplish, why it feels as though I am slogging through thigh high mud. Take the time to sit with that wounded warrior that resides within...that is YOU....that is a substantial part of your psyche.

God bless you today with all that you need, with all hope and joy and healing...may you be surrounded with love so pure it touches each broken and wounded place with healing, with mending grace and mercy. May you know your worth...your unique and special place on this earth...stand tall warriors and speak your truth, softly but with intent, with purpose. Go with God today and every day, walking out your journey with compassion, with strength, with courage resting on your shoulders.