I Believe...

"Turn, O Lord and deliver me;

save me because of your unfailing love.

No one remembers you when he is dead.

Who praises you from the grave?

I am worn out from groaning;

all night long I flood my bed with

weeping

and drench my couch with tears.

My eyes grow weak with sorrow;

they fail because of all my foes.

Away from me, all you who do evil

for the Lord has heard my weeping.

The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;

the Lord accepts my prayer.

All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed;

they will turn back in sudden disgrace." Psalm 7

I believe in justice...

I believe in standing for good...in standing against evil...

I believe in grace and mercy...truth and principles of honour and character...things every monster at the gate lacks...

I believe in justice....

Dear treasures...as the light shines, first with a soft glow to guide our way up and out of the pit, then brighter by degrees as our eyes grow accustomed to the light of love until one day we see as we should...brighter than ever before with life the gift, the end goal...the bonuses are the adventures we find along the way, the sweeping waters carrying us on and through toil, toil and trouble...far from the evil one who made our lives a survival show, hidden from prying eyes, with an end to everything we hold dear...with every bit of light and love stolen, pummelled and buried beneath a preponderance of weight...

Birthed the day we run, damn straight that fateful day I ran...I ran for my life, for my sanity, for my children's mother, my grandbabies grama, for my friends forever friend, for myself.

Escape comes at a price dear hearts, I would speak truth....done craftily, handily, purposefully, wise as serpents harmless as doves, it may be done right...

The problem arises with deceit...with hiding true feelings on faces that were not born to lie, not born to carry deceit in their hearts...

The problem arises with the person in question having super-human perception...picking up cues and never allowing the lost one to find their feet, their purpose...the puppet master pulling strings so tight you choke and gasp for air, let alone conceiving of an escape plan.

The problem arises within the survivor...feeling guilt when they do fool the fool....feeling sorrow for their pain...no matter the trauma we've experienced, oh no, the lost one, emphasis on lost, runs back to the one who hurt her (him) in hopes of seeing that pain validated, understood and changed...

Oh my dear friends still in the mix, or thinking of going back to that pit...it never changes...never...I know from experience, from feeling that pain, that sorrow, that guilt, that absolutely cemented need for validation and repair...we chase it as though it holds our last breath, our last chance at redemption...

Redemption from a monster....an epically evil specimen of a human being, housed in skin, flesh and blood like the rest of us.... the similarity ends right there dear treasures....

The heart that beats in their chest is made of smoke and mirrors, soot and ash, brimstone and fire...oh the passion they show you in the first weeks, only to be slowly, insidiously taken away...held back despite the desire you see in them for you...they determinedly and with some discipline hold back from any affection to teach you to live without so they can do the same...live without the borders of love and loyalty...live outside the box they so neatly placed round you...

Rules and regulations that apply only to you....expectations of loyalty and commitment they themselves have no plans on upholding...

"He who is pregnant with evil

and conceives trouble, gives birth

to disillusionment.

He who digs a hole

and scoops it out,

falls into the pit he has made.

The trouble he causes

recoils on himself;

His violence comes down

on his own head."

Psalm 7:14-16

Believe it dear friends...know it, see it...you are worth so much more than what they bring to your door and the poison they infect you with until you no longer no up from down, right from wrong...

Walk...talk...speak your truth...live it, breathe it, embrace it...it holds the key to your salvation, to your healing, to life...an amazing life filled with love and grace, compassion and mercy, with kindness that bolsters, upholds, moves you to tears...