Insidious....

Luke 12:2-3 Everything hidden and covered up will soon be exposed. For the facade is falling down, and nothing will be kept secret for long. Whatever you have spoken in private will be public knowledge, and what you have whispered secretly behind closed doors will be broadcast far and wide for all to hear.

Late last night, while editing posts on my TikTok account, I saw a familiar face or two. And I froze...stared in dismay. Four separate posts of my writing were 'liked' and popped up on my screen before I had a chance to react.

You believe yourself past fear...past that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach as it clenches...

You believe yourself past the cold sweat that coats your entire body...

Once again the gentleman in question had outdone himself...creating an account with my name (maureena55fu) and pictures....insidious...evil...seeking only to confuse, to plague and to torment. I'll leave it to your imagination as to what the 'fu' stands for.

The difference is this dear hearts...I am free...free to block, free to confound the enemy...

1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.'

The takeaway here is this.... the vast majority of abusers are cowards, sulking back in the dark corners, hiding under rocks and much like the groundhog concealing himself underground until in secrecy (he thinks) he makes himself known in the virtual world to torment until he ducks back into or under whatever rock he crawled out from.

Dear ones, please hear my heart on this matter....Mercy and grace live within me, even for the monster I left behind...I warn you in hopes of preventing more abuse, more harm....Perhaps you, like me, have been free for some time now and learning to live all over again...out of place and out of sorts.

Regardless of where you are in your own very personal story, your own nightmarish place of fear and shame....damage can still be done upon your person, your sanity. The sanity you've worked hard to cling to, hangs in the balance, so do not, I beg you, go back or allow a new-ish relationship to continue.

Those little red flags you have seen and yet disregarded?

Those red flags become larger than life and unavoidable.

The prison they create may not be physical (though for some it is just that) but it is as strong as titanium and just as inflexible. There is a reason they called it the Iron Curtain, dividing Europe into two separate areas. Nothing substantial, or corporeal...but honed and patrolled and controlled through crafty and insidious mind games...or as I like to call it, mind-f*ckery.

Just there and as real to the prisoner as the hand in front of the face...holding you there as surely as if you wore shackles round your ankles.

The Houdini trick is escaping the ties that bind you to the abuser...Dear god...the pain of that break is indescribable...for the victim/survivor, not so for the monster.

A part of the victim will always wish to imbue that emotion within the heart of who they ran from...always. The failure of the relationship would sit and settle in our minds somewhat easier....the imbalance of emotion is devastating, and at times can take you out at the knees, until once again you cry your silent tears and wish, pray, hope for God to take this pain...beg for it to be gone, to be truly truly truly Free.

Each day a little bit of that emotion flies free in the face of determination and need....And so my heart weighs a little less than it did the day before and I weep with a thankful heart.

I will not stay here in this place of hurting and healing, one day soon I will be riding life like a surfer rides the barrel.

Thank you for being with me on this journey dear friends....

I pray for your continued safety, for your escape out of no-man's land, for your freedom and for your healing heart...do not give in to despair dear ones, life does exist outside the abusive relationship....a grand and good life. Be strong and of good courage, God be with you.