Into The Darkness...

Under cover of darkness, behind closed doors, or.... more vile and loathsome, congregating with those of similar mindset and insidious intent. Dark deeds done in the dark must needs have a light, a beacon, an American college football set of Friday Night Lights shone into, over and beneath...

Luke 12:2-3 Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops.”

John 3:20 "For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed."

Nothing frightens an abuser more than exposure...it does not look like fear my friends, no. It looks a lot like anger, like rage, like denial, like projection...this is their protection from remorse, from guilt, from languishing over betrayals and inflicted pain, from delving too deep into the inky, tar-like pit they do backstrokes in...warm and cozy in the delusion, safe from the pain of vulnerability and intimacy, above such fluffy things as commitment, loyalty, love and truth.

As I move about my days, like a tumbleweed I have been drawing life stories to me...bits 'n pieces sticking to branches, adding to the tumble and spread of seeds of love and kindness as the wind rolls me into those who have a story to tell. Give someone enough time and painful exoduses will rise to the surface seeking, ever seeking an ear to listen, to share in the burden of pain and sorrow.

Each voice speaking of sorrow, of misdeeds done behind closed doors...each one pointing out a man (or woman) of such small stature they bullied, harangued, belittled all those who would suffer their presence. Each one filled with insecurity, jealousy, and a need to subjugate to feel powerful, to feel above, entitled beyond all imagining.

I could fill a book...a thousand books of grief and corruption and abuses, and not touch the surface of a world gone mad, protecting the criminal, the abuser, the perpetrator of each vile deed. A promise to counsel with programs meant for the average angry human...not fashioned for the evil of abuse, of narcissism, of psychopathies...they know each word by heart after being pushed into these government approved initiatives and sail straight on through to the next victim.

It is late afternoon and I sit in front of my fire watching the flames dance and leap about with abandon...I am chilled today, right this minute by "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of [a]the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places," apt this fine day in our coldest month. Today I was an unwilling participant in a heavy bit of aggression and violence...the similarity to my former partners behaviour; mindless rage, unaccountable aggression, verbal and physical violence, was astounding. Not for the first time I wondered if he has an undiagnosed mental illness...truly... it was oft discussed between the two of us in his 'sober' moments.

God is good my friends...one of the others rose to the occasion and stood in protection, in understanding of what was happening...calm and peace was fought for and won...coworkers called in, standing together to nip the behaviour in the bud and the day was complete. God came in and once again teachable moments with directors and management ensued...I stood my friends and spoke truth, with kindness and understanding of their ignorance in how to effectively deal with physical altercations and situations, and the ripple effect throughout the home and its residents.

We stand...we speak truth...we stand and watch the miracles happen, the respect given..

We walk it out...we walk with a knowledge not asked for, but given nonetheless...

We move and have our being....we live and breathe and love...

Today and everyday...a day of reflection and meditation...a day to take stock and remember where I've come from; the long line of healing, discarding that which doesn't serve, and adding loving kindness and compassion, mercy and grace to the peaceful mix.

No one deserves our sorrow, our grief, our pain dear hearts...the very fact that is what they seek, the need to devour and move onto the next and the next, overlapping supply until the chaos and intensity increases to a fever pitch.

We've witnessed this trend...inside the relationship...now we who survive are free...free from chaos, from terror and torment and someone else will or has stepped in place to be ground down to nothingness.

Stand my friends...stand on God's promises and watch life unfold gracefully, peacefully...