It's the Little things in Life

The beauty of the sunrise, the slow fading of daylight at the end of the day.... streaks of red mingled with the deep blue of a northern winter sky.

The miraculous sight of a rainbow in the middle of winter.

The love of a friend, the absolute certainty that their loyalty and open arms are because there is good in me. I am worthy and deserving of love and kindness and compassion.

Not abuse.... Dear Hearts listen to me now. It will take time to believe this, I know because I struggle everyday to truly and fully grasp this concept, but you are worth it, you ARE enough!

If you can hang on to one thing it is this; you are worthy of love, you deserve better than what you are going through right now. Say it with me...... I am enough.

One day we will believe it and it will save us from allowing any monsters in our lives.

No more disdain, contempt, name calling, shaming, beatings, withholding, silences, discarding and all the in betweens that I will not mention here. You know what you go through at the hands of your own particular abuser and deep down you know that it isn't right. You know that you would never treat someone the way they are treating you and more, they would never ever allow anyone to treat them the way they treat you.

EVER.

Am I right? yes.... I know this despite my fears to the contrary. The logical side of my brain would daily scream at me..... It could stand back and observe the going ons and see what the manipulated and controlled side of the brain could not.

it was the same every time.... 'What are you doing?' 'Get out!' 'Run!' And so on.

Please listen dear hearts..... This is so important.....

Over time this voice gets quieter and quieter. I bet you're reading this and saying 'oh... yes.... it has been getting quieter!'

I could feel myself becoming the wooden puppet they desire. The real me was disappearing at an alarming rate.

I began to pray with more frequency for a way out....

God is a waymaker....

He will make a way....

I knew it wouldn't be comfortable but He would provide a way out.

After two days of physical, verbal and mental abuse (screaming yelling punching), he threatened in no uncertain terms to burn the house down with me in it. I took the 5 mins I knew he'd be gone for smokes and ran with the clothes on my back.

There are many items I will never see again as he kept all my tools and woodworking items and sheets and towels and dishes and on and on, but it's just stuff.... God is able to provide all these things again.

If you don't believe in God that's ok.... Everyone has their own thing and believes in something....

The most important belief you have is the belief in yourself and what you are truly capable of.

YOU making it out alive is what is most important here. You. You're the priceless treasure.

You are the heirloom, the most beautiful out of all your personal belongings. YOU.

So stay strong dear ones and live.