It Waits With Disturbing Patience...

It waits in silent repose, watchful yet relaxed to the point of slipping under into dreamland...

It waits in utter resolve for the hapless yet cunning evil that slithers hither and yon, hiding behind smiles and purposeful generosity.

It waits in the shadows, in dark corners observing, cataloguing each and every one of the heinous acts created, brewed, kneaded and fleshed out with intent, with glee, with joy for pain caused...every tear a meal, every sob a tasty drug hit to the system.

It waits...knowing in the end they are the judge and executioner...Justice...

Justice weighs them in the balance and finds them wanting...

Justice knows only patience, not time, not schedules...it knows only that it comes in a blink of an eye, with a gasp of shock and dismay the monster sees its end, senses all things true about itself and in that moment implodes, leaving only a residue of ash and smoke behind.

Justice. It finds us all...the good, the bad, the somewhere inbetween, the downtrodden; each one finding their way to levelling up, doing better...but the evil, oh no, much is reserved for them.

"When justice is done, it brings joy to the righteous but terror to evildoers." Proverbs 21:15

"Til I entered the sactuary of God;

Then I understood their final destiny.

Surely you place them on slippery ground;

you cast them down to ruin.

How suddenly are they destroyed,

completely swept away by terrors!'

Psalm 73:17-19

Like an ever speeding vehicle flying over hill and dale, drifting round corners tossing out pain, trauma and abuse...fast, faster, fastest meets an immovable wall of justice, of fate, of God. Sounds of distress amongst the crumpling, crunching of parts hitting the wall of justice...screams of shame and guilt as they are shown in superior detail, each and every thrown fist, each and every rage filled cruelty...fear rising up to overwhelm as they see, finally truly see, the one they scorned, the one they professed did not exist in all His Glory, in all His shining brilliance and know their final fate.

Dear treasures, evil does not go unpunished...it does not. Never mind the chaos and revulsion that lives within their minds, never mind the torment and torture they have opened themselves up to by choosing dark over light, evil over goodness and truth. They open themselves up to the whispers and taunts of the enemy they serve.

I am hear to be a testament to things seen, felt and heard that would lift the hairs on the back of your neck, have you seeking the nearest bathroom as your insides liquify in fear. This is NOT to bring admiration or amazement...no, this is to say “There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Hamlet.

Justice visits long before exacting its final price...it drops in to nudge, to remind that there is more to know, to learn, to reflect upon, until in disgust retreats to safer distances to catalogue, observe, weigh in the balance.

The one constant I have witnessed within an abuser: psychopath, sociopath, narcisst: (understanding that you can be a narcisst without being a psychopath/sociopath but conversely cannot be a psych/socio-path without being a narcisst) Tormented minds, hearts, spirits. They live in constant fear, shame, guilt, rage, hyper-arousal all while battling an empty hole so deep it beckons to the universe.

At night we watch as they sleep deeply, often like the proverbial baby and wonder.

Wonder no more. Sheer mental exhaustion pushes them to sleep deep: no conscience to speak of weighs upon them to induce insomnia.

And yet. Up at all hours of the night, sleeping sporadically during the day...tormented and on the run...on the run and desperately seeking anything and everything to distract, to deter truth from settling upon shoulders of violence, of hate, of misogyny, of patriarchy, of domination.

As I walk this path of recovery and healing, I understand deeper and truer. Every word, every gesture, every actin a road map to their true selves. I see those around me with clear vision borne of experience, of knowledge, of witness. With kindness I smile and move on from those who see not, who think themselves unique and special in their cunning, in their words and thoughts, in their skills. The truth is, they are a cookie cutter match for every other distributor of pain and suffering out there.

Speech...same.

Thoughts...same.

Actions...same.

Perversion...same.

Cowards each one...They hide the troubled child within while without they seek recompense from each new exciting supply...constantly seeking something in every person to cover the wounds.

My friends...evil exists, and it does not always come from the enemy, from the supernatural.

No...human nature can twist, warp, buckle until it resembles humanity no longer. Evil embodied by a tortured child living in an adult body...the mind fractured and broken, stutter stepping along the road of life, laying waste to women with every season, a trail of bodies, minds and spirits strewn behind them.

Let us stand for us, and for every survivor, for each lost one still living in fear...let us stand in whatever way we can.