Karma...

It isn't the let downs...

it isn't the disappointments...

It isn't the untimely words, the off-the-cuff insults...

It isn't the lack of respect....

It isn't love...

It wasn't the 'I love you's....'

It wasn't the occasional hugs....

It wasn't the nightly snuggling...

It wasn't the sporadic shared laughter and humour...

It wasn't Love...

It was friendship status...without knowing how you got there.

It was wing-man status...without fully grasping why you were there.

It was domestic servitude....without agreeing to the terms of service.

It was financial buoyancy...without ever meeting the standard.

It wasn't love...

I do not know what the future holds but I'm coming to realize that no matter how it pans out, it will be leaps, bounds, jumps, an orbital achievement, in comparison.

Faithfulness, loyalty, kindness, long-suffering, compassion, understanding....LOVE....all reap the highest of benefits in the world of karma, of justice.

Betrayal, cheating, hatred, contempt, disrespect, lying, neglect, abandonment...all reap the lowest of vibrations, the worst of life circumstances karma can offer in a strange yet accurate meting out of justice.

It wasn't Love. It was grace....in rising to meet the challenge of underlying and hidden truths flying under the radar. Like the Princess and The Pea...it irks, it rattles just under the surface, it disturbs your peace...your slumber.

Like the Princess...the irksome irritant just had to be dealt with...disposed of before being able to lay her head down in tranquil rest.

No more second guessing sanity...

No more wondering, knowing with no proof that within the relationship galaxy, distant planets with unknown aliens circled the world we sat in. Women (or men) pulled into the gravitational force field to orbit until their turn arose to take centre stage, to be the star of the show.

No more being second, third, fourth choice...no more denying your needs, your wants, your desires.

Love isn't...that. Whatever that was...it wasn't, and couldn't ever fall under the heading love in its many descriptors.

ˈləv. : a quality or feeling of strong or constant affection for and dedication to another. Merriam-Webster.

Love....dedicated, loyal, kind....

Hate....'Hatred is an intense negative emotional response towards certain people, things or ideas, usually related to opposition or revulsion toward something. Hatred is often associated with intense feelings of anger, contempt, and disgust. Hatred is sometimes seen as the opposite of love.' Wikipedia.

Hatred is a powerful word....it is with utter dismay that I see what the word love truly meant in my past. Love was a code word for Hate...for disgust, for contempt and revulsion.

We are worth so much more than that...or conversely, so much less than Hate, the barometer sank well below the skyline into the abyss, cold, freezing temperatures chilling to the bone. It is far past time to step out, away and into the warmth of the sun...

1 Corinthians 13

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love is.