Leftovers...

Leftover feelings....Loud whispers from the sidelines...tap dancing on exposed nerves, raw wounds, fresh scabs and scars....waking up at odd times during the night, dreams flashing neon light that dim and disappear into the ether with a click of the bedside lamp....

My heart has come to know a resting place, a place of refuge, a quiet knowing deep within....with each successive switch; taking each memory, flashback, and overwhelming emotional response and laying it down at the altar of the One who created us in His image, becomes easier and easier. That still small voice echoes within a vast space filled with guilt, with shame, with blame, with walls no longer running with the filth and poison that inhabited it for so very long...

It fills, it sweeps, it blows a mighty wind to wipe out the vestiges of regret and self-hate...

It comes in with absolute acceptance...with the gift of unconditional Love...with a sweet scent of change, of re-birth....knowing that you will never be the same, that wind of change comes in and reveals new life, a better life... a life of purpose, of a strength beyond our ken...of a quiet calmness that defeats the voices whispering ugly words, and uglier promises...

This dear hearts is what awaits on the other side of that massive void you see...on the other side of hell awaits a heaven here on earth. The light grows brighter and brighter with each successive step on your path...yours alone to anticipate. But know this my friends...that void is a lie...the lie that the climb out of the pit is too far, too hard, too much to accomplish in your weakened state...oh I know, I know...each step hurts, each hand placed on those walls to climb out aches...with each step, each handhold the dream is discarded, dropped...like scales falling from your eyes, the climb is a sloughing off of the weight placed upon your shoulders. The weight of hatred, the weight of fault, of shame, of embarrassment, of responsibility, of a love never returned...

Healing hurts....the death of a dream, the death of hope in the one person you thought to build that dream with...it aches, it pulls....

Do you feel it dear hearts, do you feel the lightness of foot with each step up and out?

In Faith...step out....believing that as you do, those things that have buried you will begin to fall behind you, beneath you...freeing you to find you again, truly. A new you...a different, stronger you....brave, strong and true.

'The Shepherd laughed too. "I love doing preposterous things," he replied. "Why, I don't know anything more exhilarating and delightful than turning weakness into strength, and fear into faith, and that which has been marred into perfection."'

-Hinds' Feet on High Places

Perfection...with all your scars and wounds....repaired with gold, it fills holes and cracks with the purest of metals..stronger than ever before...

Everyday dear friends is a battle...I will not lie to you, nor sugar coat the cost of the journey...but oh the rewards!

One day the tears will end over this particular chapter in my story, and yours will too...like a stream cutting through the desert, eventually it dries up and we are left with a path cut through to a lush landscape of greenery, of life springing from a bottomless well of love. This is God's promise to us...2 Corinthians 1:10

“And He did rescue us from mortal danger, and He will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in Him, and He will continue to rescue us.”

Go with God today and every day, I pray His peace finds you where you are today, in this moment and every moment of despair, of fear....there is a way for you, a promise just for you...you are unique, special, worthy dear hearts..worthy of love, of compassion, of kindness...do not forget you are warriors all...capable of such strength, of such feats of courage and bravery...capable, enduring and beautiful.

Live in this moment....in this present moment and let God worry about the details...we cannot change nor control the future, it is and will forever be a blank slate to be filled in as we go, as we live and breathe and love and give....so rest dear broken and lost, rest in the moment and find that calm place within you that no one can steal, nor rob from.

Walk softly, speak softly and carry a big stick...survive dear ones and live to see your way free from peril, physically...mentally...emotionally...