Lingering...

Waking from dreams full of swashbuckling pirates, creatures large and small scurrying this way and that, and speaking in dulcet tones paced with intensity and perseverance to bring change to an insane world, I lay quietly a moment as each dream floated away in wispy fingers of mist to disappear into the ether.

Another day to take in God's beauty and share time, conversation and a few good belly laughs with crew and big bosses alike. There is something special to being tasked with the safety and care of men and women who show up for hard, blue collar work each day. Long hot dusty hours spent in sun, rain, wind and the occasional hail storm rife with lightning and thunderous booms overhead. These souls are cut from a different cloth. They endure with smiles and laughter, paint the air blue with their cussing and jokes, and continue on despite setbacks or issues.

The lingering feel of dreams unexplained and unknown settle in my mind as I walk with the giant animal that calls himself a dog. Air is crisp and birdsong aplenty as feet and a healthier body than I've had in some time take me around the work site. As we traverse the now familiar path, prayers come unbidden for my children, their spouses and my grandchildren. Tears track down chilly cheeks and I stop to breathe a moment while overlooking the mist shrouded water.

I tell you dear treasures, some days feel like death...some moments feel too heavy to bear...some memories lay as stone upon heart and spirit...and then God.

I sing out my pain to songs played as I walk...

I speak out my hearts desire to God and know the comfort of His presence....

I pray for grace, I pray for mercy, I pray for growth and wisdom and so much else it pours out to the heavens...

It is in these occasions with heart crying out for restoration and/or a release from sorrow and despair that I feel God's presence the deepest.

"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit".

Psalm 147:3, which says God "heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds,"

Isaiah 61:1, where the Spirit of the Lord is sent "to bind up the brokenhearted".

Never has this been more true than now...

Dearest treasures...my prayer is for understanding, not pity nor attention...

My prayer is for the brokenhearted and low in spirit, for understanding that they are not alone...never alone.

There is one who mends the broken spirit, who comforts and loves without measure.

I would be remiss if I did not share the peace to be found in the midst of heartache and grief, there is comfort and grace to be found no matter the situation.

I often feel alone, often...and yet I am not lonely...I often feel broken, and yet as I turn to survey the ground covered these past years I see mountains and valleys, jungles of such thick darkness and oceans of such ferocity I stare in wonder and awe that not only survival could be found, but vast amounts of growth, of love and kindnesses to buoy me, uphold me.

God is able, this is what I know.

Able to give strength when at our weakest...

Able to give comfort when all feels lost...

Able to give courage when fear rears its ugly head...

Able in all things.

Not everyday is a win, but not every day is a loss either...one giant step forward can also be replaced with ten slippery steps backward.

IT'S OK....

My dear lost ones, survivors all...go easy on yourself. Give yourself the grace, mercy and compassion you hand out on a daily basis. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again, and again and again. One day you will glance back over your shoulder and see how far you've really come. You WILL make it...

A good friend once told me; 'its not one day at a time, oh no...it's one moment at a time, one minute, one hour at a time...'

You made it yesterday to wake this morning...start the day with knowledge that you are LOVED as you are, right where you stand or sit, or lay in the pit. No matter where you are on that path, there He is also.

"To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David.} O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me.

Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.

Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.

For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.

Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?

If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.

Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee."

Psalm 139

Never alone dear friends...