Love of the Game...

Bright blue skies, dotted fluffy clouds, green green grass, the ochre brown of the infield... the sounds of laughter and greetings fill the air as the first round of ball begins. It has been years since I've participated in a tournament full of teams from different cities and towns near by...the constant noise and crowds, stands full of women and children, parents and grandparents cheering on their friends and families. It feels good, feels right...and while my heart and mind do a quick two step over the feeling of anxiety in the midst of so many people, my heart rejoices in the decision to accept the invitation to play. It is a forward move on the path to healing...it is a step of faith in me, that I can join the human race once more and do the things I love...it is a stride in the correct direction, constantly seeking that destination of mending the broken places.

The teasing of the team, the 'hell yeah, great play,' the warmth of the sun on my face, the feel of the cleats as they dig in, the sensation of the ball hitting glove and the consequent call of the ump declaring an out...even the swing and the miss in trying to crush the ball over the fence...uplifting and stitching together the broken places...smoothing out the ragged edges, the torn pieces of a heart I thought would never mend fully.

God had different plans of course...plans to fulfill, to heal, to lift back onto unsteady feet until steady once more....oh, dear hearts...I still have moments, many moments of doubt...of questioning my place here on this earth...yes, still...but, they are quieter..they come with less frequency and fervour...like annoying mosquitos they become easier to swat away, to kill with a positive thought...

That light at the end of the tunnel my friends? My heart weeps with thankfulness and gratitude as that light only grows with each successive step, with each move of obedience, with every moment of grace and love. That light lives within you, within each one of us...

That is the joy, the beauty of this journey...Oh dear hearts I hope you hear my heart today and take this in, right to the core. That light you are moving toward, it is in you...it resides in you...it is a taking it in and allowing it shine forth...it is a cracking open of doors within you to let it shine freely, brightly.

That light that God has deposited in you has been smothered, hidden, shrouded to the brink of extinguishment...but it is there, it lives still within your heart, your spirit, your mind.

No matter the depth of the pit, the height of the summit, the immenseness of the desert...that light awaits, nothing and no one can put it out completely. It is a God given gift...as a little girl I would sing a song that comes to me now as I write...

This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine Oh, this little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine, This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine

I’m going to let it shine, Let it shine, all the time, let it shine., Hide it under a bushel? No! I’m going to let it shine, Hide it under a bushel? No!, I’m going to let it shine Don’t let Satan blow it out!, I’m going to let it shine, Don’t let Satan blow it out! I’m going to let it shine Let it shine, all the time, let it shine

Don't let the enemy, the abuser, the person(s) in your life put out your light, hold you down, smother the life and love and joy within you. You are precious, special and unique...always.

You have a Heavenly Father who knows you...who sees you where you are...who loves you without question. You were singularly created...there is no one quite like you, not one.

I pray today that you would no longer doubt your place in this world...that you would begin to see with an unshakeable faith that you were lovingly designed, lovingly fashioned, lovingly made...there is nothing under the sun that God does not know, nothing. You were not an accident...no dear hearts, you were knowingly, creatively put together....

You are known...loved...needed...necessary...do not give up on hope dear friends....

That light waits patiently within you....no matter where you are, what horror you are experiencing, it is there providing guidance, providing much needed warmth and love.

Go with God today and every day forward...may He make a way for you...may He surround you with protection and strength and a peace that passes all understanding. He is able, no matter the circumstances. He truly is. I am a testament to this dear hearts...He made a way for me out of a perilously grim hell I thought never to escape.

Walk tall, walk with grace and the beauty that resides within your heart, your spirit...no matter the lies, no matter the poison that has infiltrated your spirit and soul...within you lies the heart of a warrior, within you lies the strength of a hundred soldiers....oh I know you are weary, so weary of the fight to just survive every day...I know the brokenness that lays you low, lays you out flat on the ground...one tiny step, one infinitesimal moment at a time and you will wake one day to find your head above water once more, viewing the landscape around you in wonder and awe. An inch becomes a milestone, a foot a summit you thought never to reach.

It is there for you too...this I believe with all my heart, that if God can save this lost and broken down soul mired in the depths of despair, He can and will do the same for you.

So...walk tall, speak softly your own truth and watch the shackles fall to the ground, one by one by one...