My Soul...

'My soul finds rest in God alone;

my salvation comes from him,

He alone is my rock and my salvation;

He is my fortress. I will never be shaken.'

Psalm 62

Dearest treasures... there is a place of refuge, of peace. Within you, awaiting your steps, awaiting your purpose, your freedom.

This morning as I travelled the drive to a job set within pristine wilderness upon a lake of some beauty, I reflected on the instant peace, the absolute joy that flooded my soul upon fleeing a home filled with hate, false promises otherwise known as lies, childish rages housed within an adult body and carried out with strength and madness. No more psychological torment, no longer bearing up under torment and control of a kind i've witnessed only in history books outlining figures such as Hitler, Mussolini and others of their ilk and kind.

I reflected on the fear that rode upon my shoulders only outweighed by shame and sorrow; and yet...and yet I had spread wings upon chilled air and burst free from a cage gilded and designed with lies, with poison, with forethought.

There IS hope my friends, there is always hope to be found outside of that relationship slowly tearing you down by degrees. A light at the end of the tunnel on the other side of that expanding pit they have thrown you down into.

There IS peace to be found, love of a true kind that matches actions to a profundity of words.

There IS compassion and grace to hold close to heart and mind, spirit and body.

There IS forgiveness to be found within for the years spent with a monster...not for him, that's for you to decide, but for ourselves and the leaving of self behind in order to survive.

'A victim's actions are a reaction to a situation they did not create, and therefore, they are not to blame for the situation or their survival response to it.'

It wasn't your fault....nothing, and I mean NOTHING you did created the circumstances you find yourself in. You were led to believe in a man/woman when in fact it was a lie, an act worthy of Oscar nominations, only to see the true man behind the mask as time goes on.

Little by little your concept of reality is shifted off-kilter until nothing looks familiar, until the landscape of your mind has moved into a monsters orbit; his rules, his fantasies, his control.

If you are constantly and consistently questioning your reality and what is right, if you are repeatedly wondering what is wrong with you and if all these years YOU have been the problem, you are in a shit storm created exclusively for you and you alone.

Pre-planned, premeditated chaos...the mind, interestingly enough, shies away from thoughts that such a monster could actually exist, that evil resplendent in form and shape could inhabit the mind of any single human.

There is a theory growing in my mind of how we are conditioned to look the other way, believe its a one-off, excuse bad behaviour in favour of feeling no discomfort.

We have become conditioned to believe its not OUR problem; they put themselves in that place didn't they? It was THEIR choice to be with someone so heinous, right?

Let's stop for a moment and think on Winston Churchill, Hitler, and Poland. Polands leaders believed the honey-coated lies of Hitler and his peace talks to such an extent they even signed a treaty, which he then proceeded to blow apart days later after giving the order to invade.

'In Britain, the Munich Agreement was greeted with jubilation. However, Winston Churchill, then estranged from government and one of the few to oppose appeasement of Hitler, described it as 'an unmitigated disaster'.'

Fortunately England at last agreed to Churchills arguments as nations watched the chaos of Polands invasion.

Was it their responsibility for believing the lies and false promises? Or did the responsibility lie with the man who perpetrated and executed his plans for world domination?

These types of minds care not one whit for your sensibilities or sensitivites, your love and compassion, your grace and forgiveness; they care only for whatever end game they are executing. Indeed, they take advantage of your kindness, your good nature until one day you awaken to find yourself emptied, a carcass of your former self.

My prayer for you today dear friends is this; that your eyes would be open to truth, to who you really are and most importantly, who they really, truly are under all the excuses, lies, charm and glad handing.

Find a kernel of self, seek that young girl (boy) within and find out what they need.

Find a tiny spark and fan the flame until you have enough courage to flee, safely and well.

May God grant you courage in face of such fear that debilitates, freezes the very marrow of your bones.

God keep you safe, grant you rest and a foundation of love, grace and mercy that can never be shaken.