Need....Want...Desire

Feeling the Sunday blues......so I brew the coffee, turn on the music soft and low and settle into my big chair to contemplate. Perhaps I am fooling no one, even myself, as contemplation turns to worry....to fears real and imagined...to heartbreak and heartache.

There are moments I feel empty....the irony of that statement is that this vessel is full...

full of emotions all clawing for top position..

full of fears all screaming to be heard, and boy are they heard....

full of hopes and dreams and plans with no way to fulfill them quite yet.

So much has been stolen from us....emotionally, mentally and physically...this is where the empty comes from dear hearts. Pieces are missing within our hearts and minds and in their place are the dirtiest of deeds and mistreatments. The horror of what was done and said at times overwhelms, encompasses and surrounds until all else is blocked out.

And the worst part dear ones is knowing that they do not suffer as we do...they do not suffer the emotional loss, feel the heartache deep in their souls....to be so easily discarded while suffering is an irony that is not lost on me.

I desperately move towards healing...desperately try every counselling trick in the book...

I do not wish to be in pain any longer...I do not wish to fear the future and what it holds for me....No....

I wish to view every day as a gift, every interaction a lesson, every word I speak...spoken in kindness and compassion...

I choose to leave every negative thought by the wayside...choosing life and love, hope and faith.

I do not have much to give this morning dear friends but what I have is here for you on this page...I pray for your continued safety...

I pray for wisdom in every decision and the grace to carry it out...

I pray for love unceasing, for the ability to lighten someones load, to share a burden of pain and sorrow....

In this way dear hearts we differ from the evil that exists within those around us waiting and seeking out their prey. A girding or covering of Love and Faith to protect against the wiles of the enemy within and without. It does not make us weak...kindness is not weakness...

It is easy to be angry...easy to react...easy....

Hard is choosing love...hard is choosing kind words...hard is standing for and on principles...

Do not give an inch to those negative emotions.... nothing destroys faster than a harsh word.

A soft answer turneth away wrath: But grievous words stir up anger. Proverbs 15:1

God be with you today, and make His face to shine upon you and keep you safe.