Not Alone

June 16th

You are NOT alone, never alone!

Unfortunately we are many, us survivors. Reach out.... to a love one, to a trained counsellor... anyone.

We hesitate to call or talk with anyone, like it's our shame to carry. NOT true!

It has never been ours to carry.

Can you feel that rounding of the shoulders, as we cringe just thinking of telling someone, opening up about the abuse we put up with? I mean we chose to go back, chose this man/woman as our love. I can still hear someone saying to me that I had 'made my bed, now I had to lay in it.' Never understanding nor imagining the torture involved and the prison they create around us.

Listen carefully Dear hearts when I say this. It is theirs to carry. Your abuser.

There I said it. Even on this point we hesitate to attribute that label to the one who is supposed to love us. Who declares their love constantly while their actions scream the truth. Abuser!!

Reach out friends. Oh, it's SO hard... what is wrong with us that someone would want to treat us so badly?

That, that right there is the lie that hangs over you and through to your very core.

Insidiously and oh so craftily they have planted that lie within us. In order to avoid taking responsibility for the hurts they have heaped upon us, they shift the blame to us. For the smallest things:

'You talked to a man at work....'

'you smiled at someone....'

'you didn't stop the truck fast enough....'

'How stupid are you?'

Does any of this sound familiar?

If so.... RUN ! Plan a safe exit and then run as far and as fast as you can. It will destroy you to stay. And the ripple affect... oh yes! let us have truth here in this safe place. Your abuser cuts you off from friends and family and will eventually kill relationships if you allow it.

An example I can give is when I would plan a trip (hour and a half away) to see my children and grandchildren. As he had destroyed any chance of being around my kids (by threatening their lives) he had to stay home. It became so stressful to go as he would invariably say I was seeing a boyfriend when I was there and cheating. It became so painful that I began to go less and less. There was a time that every visit to see my children, I went with visible bruises that I was forced to lie about.

And we question our sanity? Question whether perhaps we are the narcissist?

It's laughable in a crying jag sort of a way.

Try this; take each episode and look at them, I mean, really examine the events and then come back and tell me it might be you. You will not, for you will see that you have been programmed to believe you're nothing, you're useless, you're the problem, you're the issue. And on and on it goes.

So dear hearts, stay strong and get out if you haven't done so yet, and stay away.... Try as hard as you have tried for anything in your life..... for your very life depends on it (and those you love).

God bless you and keep you safe.