Out and Away...

The days....oh the days, they stretch, out and away....as far as the east is from the west they live on in an endless loop circling the globe...a gift, a curse...

...at peace, a gift...at rest, a joy each morning...

...in the fight, in the healing and painful self-reflection...a curse...

Grace and mercy live in plenty on this journey...

The days loom as tall as a mountain peak...they loom high and volatile as a tsunami...

Small pleasures of sanity and grounding come with family...with forever friends...with like minded individuals cherishing time together...

It has been a solitary time....a time of loneliness and time alone, spending time in my own company, going back years to a time as a young girl...different from everyone else, set apart...ginger status...blindingly white skin, ginger curls with no semblance of order, buck teeth with slight overbite and you had a recipe for 'one of these things is not like the others,' circa Sesame Street style.

Do not feel pity nor a smidgeon of compassion for such a child...that young girl roamed the orchards of the Okanagan with a freedom and zest for life seldom seen. With but an occasional brotherly correction I ran alone and knew such joy in the midst of blossoming trees, vineyards and a view of the massive lake housing a wild prehistoric creature of myth and lore.

I return to that love of life, that option to be alone and love every second...to commune with nature and all its healing properties, alone...to sit in front of the fire snapping and popping, lighting up the cozy interior, alone...

Some days I miss little things...silly things...the moving in for a heated kiss, many many years past since I had a true blue kiss from someone who knows what they were doing...the moving in sync preparing a meal...the laughs over whatever hits the funny bone...the joy of climbing into a cold bed next to a warm body, chuckling over cold feet touching warm areas.

Some days....

But...dear hearts, the silence isn't deafening...it is peace, a warm blanket of contentment and comfort...

Waking to the new pup needing an outside break, the chill air hitting bare legs as you give him a little encouragement with a soft push on the rump...the cold nose as he gallops back in as though the cold northern air had taken up chase and he must run, run, run...

Ah, the grace, the mercy as each day stretches off into infinity...even as we walk each day perhaps into that good night, never to walk the earth again but oh the joy as you are welcomed by a Heavenly Father who greets you with open arms, with open heart; loved ones waiting, gazing at you in wonder as you wake on your new celestial plane...

Life...a gift to be treasured, even in the low patches...each moment a new experience, a new breath of life to explore and truly live each moment as though our last breath is waiting just round the corner...

Too short...it is too short to sit, stay, live, grind, in a horrific environment...no matter how small the abuse, still abuse...no matter how small the degradation, the humiliation, the betrayal(s), the cheating, still wrong...still NOT ok...

If they wish to change...to show you their words might actually mean something, they can do so with you away, out from under, free from the cage...let them prove they're different...they cannot for any length of time and will refuse out of pride and a misguided, twisted sense of self-importance...

You, my darling, are too important, too special, unique, wonderful a Queen (king) to be sitting waiting for the next hammer to fall, to take each breath wondering if it is to be your last with an appetizer of torture to preclude it...

Worthy....

"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Marvelous are Your works,

And that my soul knows very well." Psalm 139:14

Marvelous are His works...no mistakes, no failures, no discards and defective parts...no, you dear lost ones/survivors are Marvelous...worthy of all that is good, all that is right, all that is precious.

Walk it now my friends...Talk with confidence borne of knowledge...stand tall and speak your truth, with dignity, with grace, with fervour...