Provision...

It all begins with trust, with faith the size of a mustard seed. Tiny, seemingly insignificant until small, medium and large miracles begin to happen.

God doesn't expect olympic style trust...trust is earned, faith is given.

I do not expect those under my care to trust, without question, that I will see to their welfare, however they have faith that with education, experience and compassion I will do just that.

I began with Faith and a certain amount of trust that God would never leave me, never abandon me due to mistakes made, choices I'd take back, or the imperfection I display daily.

He showed up in the direst of situations, admist a screaming, raging exhibit of violence and turmoil seldom seen or known. All it took was saving me from being 'thrown down the well,' or 'burned down with the house,' or bringing me back to life after being deprived of oxygen, over and over and over and over again.

I would ask for you to open your mind to understanding control and manipulation on a grander scale than you have witnessed in your lifetime, all concentrated on one person.

The goal?

To erase, to subjugate, to have absolute power over another human being...slave comes to mind, to do with as they please.

No one is coming to the rescue.

Not the police, not your family, not your pastor nor your best friend.

Oh, some suspect that all is not well...some see the bruises and buy the lies to cover up the shame. However, they do not know the scope or scale of the abuse, else who could hold them back?

There must be something wrong with me, right?

No, dear dear friends...there is NOTHING wrong with you, or the loved one you know that is going through it. They didn't ASK for it, they didn't go in with zero boundaries to speak of...

You/they are systematically destroyed; brick by brick, layer by layer until confusion reigns and shame is your newest constant companion.

This is not love...this is war.

God WILL make a way, a way to escape the pit, to come out from under the horrifically oppressive weight you carry.

Oh, I know...no one knows...you smile and laugh, you extend kindness and compassion all while fighting to keep demons at bay, hoping for rescue despite understanding that not one person fully comprehends what you are suffering.

Why? Because the first thing to go is truth...you hide the bruises or lie about where they came from when you cannot.

Truth becomes a standard held dearly in every other part of your life...

One day I woke to a new level of rage...a new level of commitment to seeing me suffer, permanently. And God made a way.

After three days of torture, sleep deprivation, verbal and physical abuse, the penultimate moment had arrived. This was it, I was set to die...horribly.

I ran....

You will feel shame for this dear treasures, though it is misplaced.

You may feel a coward, a person incapable of sticking it through and saving the life of your supposed 'loved one.'

Lies upon lies, upon lies....

You do not deserve anything less than grace, kindness, gentleness and compassion.

Take a moment and tick them off the fingers...do these beautiful attributes exist within your relationship?

And I'm not speaking on the tidbits of crumbs thrown from the table to keep you in place, to fool you once again into staying. I'm not speaking of the moments they purposely use to create a sense of hope; though it be a lie.

It is time for women to stand, to speak out against the atrocities being committed EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. in this country. Time for us to use our voices to call every agency into account for not holding these monsters responsible and prosecuting them to the nth degree.

I set down the fight for a time, stepped away from writing for a time...exhausted and tired of banging my head against the brick wall that is our police force, our crown counsel, our victim services.

I'm back.

Crimes will not go unanswered...the fight will continue.

Stand tall my friends...we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus. We have a champion who stands with us, sits with us, cries with us and always holds us close.