Push...Pull...

We push, we pull...we hit the mark wide, or fall short....daily, minute by minute...as I drove out yesterday morning with truck and trailer full of building supplies and a sullen worker with headphones in and movie on her phone I reflected on the everyday grind...

I reflected as I sang along with the radio and thanked God for the peace He provides in stunningly creative ways...I thought on striving, on constantly working to achieve, to overcome. Physically...mentally...emotionally....each day spending countless minutes adding into hours, into days, into months, into years... I am coming to realize just how much time, Time we do not have, battling some emotion...fighting some battle...agonizing over some word, or deed...

I believe we are meant to reflect, to correct...yes...to understand our impact on others, absolutely...to choose our words with care and kindness, compassion...yes.

I believe we are not meant for sustained, round-the-clock mental anguish...nor for second guessing, over-thinking....

I used to tease my mother...she was a northern BC version of Mother Teresa....carrying out goodness wherever she went...carrying out real, true, down-to-earth, dirty, nitty gritty, no-one-else-wants-to-do-it acts of love...she was a beautiful women with a beautiful heart, yet struggled mightily mentally....wondering if she said or did the wrong thing.

I look back at conversations with my mom and I miss her everyday...I miss the laughs we would share with her over her strange hijinks and eccentric ways...the talks about anything and everything, that woman could talk the ear off a mule...the apple did not fall far from that tree let me tell you, thanks mom. I miss discussions that at times turned into arguments...healthy ones...I miss how much she loved my children and each fur baby like they were her own...

I am reminded of her today as I struggle with the same issue dear hearts....overthinking... anxiety over treatment and my responses to same...and I realize how much time is truly wasted on things that are insignificant, on people who bear no significance in my life any longer...

We have so little time to accomplish what we are here for my friends...why waste it on mental gymnastics that bear no fruit...'to err is human, to forgive divine.' Alexander Pope.

I go today in the hopes of keeping the errors to a minimum and the overwhelming thoughts and feelings less than that...

My mind is set on peace, on grace, on love, on forgiveness....

My mind is set on guarding the heart, protecting the spirit...

I will go forward in body, in spirit, in prayer....

My prayer for you today and each day forward is that you are blessed with a mind filled with peace and clarity...with strength and grace to make it through each moment, each battle you are placed in....it is there for the asking...God is faithful my friends and will never leave, nor forsake....never. Go today in the knowledge that you are loved with an everlasting love, a never ending love filled with mercy, with compassion, with grace...a heart that weeps with you when in dire need, in brokenness, in terror...

Waymaker dear treasures...He will make a way...walk it out with courage, stand tall with pride and knowledge of who you truly are...worthy...worthy of all love, all grace, all mercy, all kindness....

May you know way down deep in your foundation bedrock...you are loved so very much...created for just such as this...created with such a heart for others....do not change that part of you my friends no matter the cost, no matter what comes, no matter what the monster may throw at you...that part of you is priceless in a world full of selfishness and self-pleasure, in a world full of hate and anger you shine like a lighthouse set on a hill.

What must be learned is to protect that spark, that light...guard the heart and mind while living a life of love and compassion. We may extend love to the narcissist...yes we may, but we need not stay in their company or in the relationship...we can and must love from afar or be destroyed in the process...and that is ok my friends.

God Bless you today as you find your way through this complicated-at-times life...remember dear treasures, remember you are needed, necessary and vital...