Sexuality...

Well my friends....let's talk about the giant Pink elephant in the room...the one huddling in the corner, attempting invisibility...

Let's talk power, control, subjugation, devaluation...my needs first and foremost...but I'll lie and tell you how I like it, how it will benefit you to do it just how I like it...to do what I want, when I want and leave you lying in the dust.

How pervasive does the toxicity need to be, how high a rad, or gray the radiation poisoning need be to completely miss the boat...you know, the boat that is carrying a red flag of ginormous proportions, waving in the distance....helloooooo....narcissistic *sshole....his needs, his wants, his perverse pleasures when he wants, how he wants, however and whomever he wants...no matter the betrayal, no matter the disloyalty, lack of commitment, and childish need for more... for something different, better, greener grass, fresher hay...fresh mud to play in. Covered in the filth...they will look you dead in the eye and lie.

'I don't do that shit.'

'I don't cheat.'

'I don't want anyone else.'

'I don't sit in the bathroom perusing what's available out in the deep blue sea.'

'I don't talk to other women.' sidepieces lining up on the side, no idea what or who they're playing with.

My question one day...'why is it always your idea...why do YOU get to decide when and where, how and why and why does it never involve my needs?

A shrug...and the matter was put away.

Their way or the highway people...what pleases them, what drives them, this is what they listen to... this is what they feed.

They feed the beast and then shake their heads in wonder at your frustration, your sorrow...then the hands are rubbed together in glee as they find each and every insecurity and turn them into triggers. They triangulate other women, by word or by deed, and then berate you for your insecurities. They flirt...they talk dirty...they watch and pay for online beauties...and then sit back in derision as you struggle to find your footing.

Dear treasures...dearest lost ones...you are not dealing with your average bear here. You are dealing with a subhuman, a construct, a fallacy, a perversion, an evil waiting to pounce on what they view as weaknesses...despite being attracted to all those personality traits in the beginning. You're not tough enough, you're not buxom enough, your not booty filled enough...no matter how beautiful, nor how you're put together...it will not be enough for the hungry beast that lives for new supply, new adoration, more adoration, less commitment...

Just be my silent slave and I will stay quiet, I will push the beast within down, actions to be hidden in dark places and spaces...

You know...in the backseat of that customers truck....do you all know he's doing this crap in your vehicles?...at the neighbours shop...in the equipment he ran...loader, excavator, no problem...just put the feet up and go to town.

You will be neglected in every area....and then berated for your sensitivity, your pain, your emotional distress. Mind-f*ck anyone? Delusional digression...mental health hijinks....trauma inducing bullsh*t....

The peace, the relief....it comes when the foot is out the door....instantly....

Oh there is fear of the unknown...fear of what comes next, but compared to the monstrosity you just left behind? Nada....no problemo my friends. Easy...you live, you move, and you have your being, in peace...in comfort...in love and compassion. Priceless.