Silence...

Not a cloud in the sky this morning...not one puffy, fluffy bit of gossamer in sight and I drink it in as surely as I drink in the taste of heaven in my coffee cup.

The silence within is as deep as the blue in the first rays of dawn breaking across the sky. Soft, malleable and foreign this quietude seeping into my bones, into my spirit...

Though life may be telling me to stress, to worry, to obsess over the future and where I am being led, I feel a disconnect and begin to view as from the outside looking in.

God's peace envelops my mind...the strength He has granted me pushes aside the here, the now...pushes aside the unknown, pushes aside the great big world and the limitless possibilities that create fear. I am used to having a purpose, a goal, a master plan...I have laid all aside in the pursuit, not of happiness as it were, rather of letting go.

I lay aside all worries...all grief and sorrow...all heartache...I watch as with every practiced breath, with every word of encouragement and self-care, the pieces fall to hit the ground around me...and for the first time in an age of days, I take a full, deep breath and awaken to the energy about me, to deepening, brilliant colours...to the pleasure of taste across my tongue once again...to experiencing life in every way, be that joyful or sorrowful...

You see dear hearts...that is the beauty of our lives, to our presence here on earth...to be present in every moment and to truly experience every emotion, good or bad...

Standing on the outside looking in I see...the scales are falling from my eyes, revealing the endless layers that compromise our time here. We have only so long...and no one knows the time of our passing but God...when asked what people would change about their lives isn't about money, or fame, or recognition, no...it revolves around relationships, around truly living life to the fullest...acknowledging that it isn't the job, it isn't the 9-5 or the shift work.

It is taking in every last moment...savouring it, or breathing through the passing of a loved one, the heartache of a break-up...seeing, feeling, hearing and acknowledging the pain we endure as much as the joy that comes with that promotion, the strike of a bat hitting the ball outta the park, the coo of a baby giving you Luvy eyes....

For every bit of heartache there is a surfeit of happiness to be found around you. Truly.

This does not detract from the agony you have endured at the hands of another...the gut-wrenching grief that wafts along with the mistreatment...the harsh words...the rejection...

Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. Psalm 30

This too shall pass dear hurting, broken survivors...victims...God will make a way...

Many months out and I am just now beginning to truly see...to truly grasp the enormity of the journey I've been on these last years...

The tears flow in gratitude, in grief, in wonder at the works of His hands...

The journey is not over...when freedom is attained, and the whole world seems displaced, foreign and far too large to comprehend...this my friends, is when the journey begins. The prospects limited only by us, by our fears and guarded hearts.

Dream that dream....believe in you....you have every skill necessary to take on the world though it appears insurmountable. One indomitable step at a time will conquer the mountain...

Stay the course dear hearts... Peace awaits you within no matter the circumstances without.

If you're in the depths, find your center and cling to it as a man clings to a life raft in the storm. That....that is your training ground... I know it intimately and strove to find it in the midst of many battles...to find it and to remain there no matter the provocation. Once found I clung...I planted roots and held on through class 5 tornadoes (EF5), refused to let go as waves pounded, obliterated, destroyed the landscape round about.

The truth is harsh friends....the truth is the path out is littered with the bones of the past...strewn with weeping witnesses to the exact pain you bear.

The truth is, you are not alone in your despair....

The truth is, that calm place you find inside your soul? There resides God, hands held out waiting to enfold you in His peace. There in that quiet place you will discover and more, accept and take hold, a peace that passes all understanding. Envision it...see it in your minds eye...however it may look it is yours and yours alone.

Sitting at the base of a giant tree...limbs swooping down to the ground to provide shade, to provide safety....

Sitting in your favourite deck chair...gazing out at the stretch of water before you, awash in the sound of waves breaking on the beach...

Your happy place...what brings your heart peace, what brings your mind...your soul...your spirit, light and life.

This and the loving kindnesses will sustain you...ground you...no one can take this from you. No One....

Step into your unique place on and in this world we call home. You, the lost and the broken...you are irreplaceable, special and one of a kind.

We need you....do not despair. Allow the grief, the sadness, the sorrow to well up and flow out...I promise you will not drown though it feels that way. You will find your way...the path meant just for you.

Stand tall warriors...stand proud and see all that you have accomplished within. Speak softly...speak your truth and stand your ground. You are worth it...truly.

May God go with you this day and every day forward, may He make His face to shine upon you and brighten your soul.