Thankful Heart...

I began my morning with starting the kettle, preparing for my first cup of heaven and became engrossed in going through pictures and the best places to hang them...old family portraits; the semi-old and the new, with grandchildren and fur-babies....creating a nest, a safe haven if you will, is a routine that centres me...grounds me.

When sorrow creeps in, I stop what I'm doing and just breathe....and look around at what is truly important...what gives life, creates hope, and blossoms love deep within my soul.

This morning I read a story from a long-time friend....timing is everything my friends...it has been a journey fraught with peril, fear, discovery, self-loathing and overcoming and mastering the thoughts that swirl in technicolor within my head..thoughts that have taken root in my heart and must be dug up, rooted out in order to find healing, in order to find true peace.

The story took place at the school my grandson and granddaughter attend...my good friend was sharing a snippet of her story to the students with pictures of her life over the years. In her wedding photo I stood as a bridesmaid and despite the span of years since that beautiful day of celebration my grandson recognized his grams and told his teacher...'thats my grama.'

Oh my heart....it weeps in joy and such love...

Dear friends, how thankful I am for the love of a child, pure and unstinting.

This is what sustains me...

Love...compassion...kindness...grace and mercy...forgivness...

All these attributes, all these gifts are essential to healing and moving forward into a life of peace and promise.

Isn't it time dear friends to apply the love, the compassion, the kindness, the grace and mercy, and most importantly, the forgiveness, to yourself?

Isn't it time to come out of the fog of self-loathing and shame, into the bright light of love and forgiveness?

Isn't it time to replace fear with peace? To replace loathing with love...to replace shame with a measure of pride?

'Perfect love casts out all fear...' John 4:18.

'And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.' Philippians 4:7

Many, many times I would quote whatever scripture I could remember from my younger days and a measure of calm would envelop me...it didn't always change the circumstances happening to me in the moment, but it kept me calm...kept the worst of the fear at bay. There were times that the man I loved would stop what he was doing, confusion written plain on his face and I would seize what little opportunity I had to calm the monster within and change the course of events in my favour.

Too many times to count I saw God at work...I saw His protection...a phone call, the dogs barking outside, a vehicle pulling into the driveway...and I was saved by distraction.

Truth here always my friends...there were also many times that the monster within him would not be distracted, would not stop his beating, verbal or physical...and I would pray to live another day...I would pray for someone to come save me, anyone....minutes would drag into hours and with no hope of rescue I would retreat within while keeping watch without.

I am here today to tell you that while God sustains and keeps watch and I believe weeps for the pain that is heaped on to victims...He is also tied by the free will He gifted us, the will to choose to do good or evil. Love one another...

I am here today to beseech you to run, safely...but to get out of that toxic, abusive relationship and taste free air. God will provide a way...it will be uncomfortable but a way will be made for you...all you need do is take it, however that may be.

The truth is this dear hearts....evil is all around us, being done to others...all around us. A kind word, a smile, a loving gesture...so simple and so easy and yet so profound an effect on the abused, on the victim. It brings courage...It brings light into the dark places...

Do not spare your compassion my friends....it costs us nothing yet gives everything to lost souls.

I will tell you a short story of what kindness and compassion can do...

Some years past while working in Burns Lake my partner and I were called out to a 'mental health' call. Now this can mean a number of things...including thoughts of suicide, multiple personality disorders and so on. I was attending the call and met the 40 year old man at the door with his mother in tow and quickly sized up the situation. Once in the back of the ambulance and lying on my couch (stretcher doubles as many things) the gentleman began to talk...and talk...and talk...through vitals, through the 10 mins ride to the hospital, even once in the bed and under the care of the nurse....I sat with him for a time and then said my goodbyes as another call came in. Fast forward a few months later in Prince George, coming out of Marks work warehouse I ran into that individual. He was a different man... his face was cheerful, his words soft and focused and I was overwhelmed with joy that he had made it, he had made it through the rough moments to find peace. His words to me were this....'you listened to me, you cared...' He found the courage to seek help in Prince George and to get better, because someone took the time to really listen.

So simple...

Mental health is a complex issue...with a complex path to healing and wholeness...and yet...

Simple kindness, simple compassion, and simple love that costs us nothing can create an opening in the dark world that some live in....

......Can shine a light into the darkest of places...

So give dear ones...and in giving watch your own life open up, expand and lighten.