....The Hand that feeds you...

There is an old saying by the Poet Sappho that is incorporated into a song by the Nine Inch Nails....and it goes like this:

'You're keeping in step In the line Got your chin held high and you feel just fine 'Cause you do What you're told But inside your heart it is black and it's hollow and it's cold

Just how deep do you believe? Will you bite the hand that feeds? Will you chew until it bleeds? Can you get up off your knees? Are you brave enough to see? Do you wanna change it?' Nine Inch Nails - The Hand That Feeds

This morning as I sit and ruminate, reflect and rummage amongst the detritus that is my brain at the moment, I think of respect...I think of love....I think of boundaries...

I think of the things that could drive me to hurt someone I professed to love...over and over again....and I cannot come up with a single thought that would give me peace of mind in causing them pain, physically or verbally, and thus....mentally.

Every wrong deed, every hideous action carried out by the abuser cannot be excused or explained away.

The hand that feeds you....a metaphor of the one who cares for and loves you....do you see?

Dear friends.... in no way, shape or form is being hit, threatened, stood over or the myriad of actions carried out by the one who proclaims his love for you, ok. It is not ok.

Reflect back on the way it started....and you thought, 'oh, it's just a one off...he didn't mean to put his hands around my throat...'

Remember dear hearts, remember the little ways it began and see that they were/are conditioning you to accept, to forgive...until the next time, it's a little bit more....and a bit more, and a bit more....and somehow it is your fault. You take on the blame, you take on the shame...

There are so many voices vying to be spoken here...

The voice of pain...

The voice of anger...

The voice of grace...

The voice of anguish....

The voice of forgiveness....

They all, each one, culminate in a desperate voice of need to let go...to heal...to just be 'ok.' Bollocks as the English say. If only it were so simple...so easy.

And so we arrive at the crux of the problem....there is no healing until we delve into the deepest of blackest dismal corners where the bruised and broken parts hide, where they huddle with one arm out to ward off any further pain.

How easy it is to take on rejection when in a bleak landscape...

How easy it is to see only shame and embarrassment....

Bring it up, take it out and let the pain come...free it on the wings of grace and mercy.

You are worthy of mercy....worthy of forgiveness....worthy of compassion....

And more, you are worthy of an amazing life....yes, you. You hiding in the corner there, hunkered down and surviving....you deserve more.

Take that step...embrace freedom and all the goodness that is just around the corner.

Let us stand together and beat back the shadows that creep in and threaten to overtake your mind...

We stand and say....Not Today....Today I am free and thankful for the peace that encompasses my life....Thankful for the gift of life....

You have got this my friends....Stand tall...speak softly....carry that big stick....