The Truth Is...

Love was a foreign emotion to the man in my life...through pregnancies, through deaths, through new life, through changes, forced growth and experience...love was never understood unless rigidly placed in a controlled environment.

BE this way...ACT this way...or love as a pretend emotion fell through floorboards to lay dormant, silent until shepherded into complacency, into obedience.

The truth is marriage looked a lot like what I escaped from...a home filled with lies and confusion, manipulation and control. Fall into line or face the consequences of abandonment, neglect, betrayals, and forced quietude.

The truth is each relationship prepared me for more, for worse...rebellion became commonplace, anger and resentment constant companions I was taught to feel shame for, to ask forgiveness for; despite being healthy emotions showcasing where issues were being refused an audience.

From where did these teachings come from? The church.

Submit...obey...keep silent...live under not beside...

The truth is, as each betrayal landed upon my lap internalization became key to survival.

The truth is, my children were all that kept me sane and in place, desperately seeking change, desperately praying and asking God for a miracle.

The truth is, eventually, I broke...sanity and mental health warred for, cried out for help and for health within a relationship so broken by lies, by a secret life behind the scenes, it became the ultimate oxymoron.

Change within the man/men I loved was impossible...despite God's hand on my life, change within the one I called partner and friend would never come to pass when delusion married psychopathy and birthed a lie so deep it would remain until death and beyond.

The truth is my friends, we as women are placed under a surfeit of burdens to bear.

Forgive and forget....reconcile with the man who considered your body and mind his to assault...

Forgive and forget...reconcile with the man who left, who abandoned, who abused...

Submit...trust...respect...

No matter the indignities forced upon you...

No matter the damages inflicted repeatedly...

The truth is, dear women lost in a world of pain and heartache, this is NOT your lot to bear.

It is not written that a woman should submit to abuse; to being treated less than, to emotional and mental abuses, to sexual abuses within the marriage, to mistreatment of any kind with a track record of not one iota of remorse or regret.

We, as a whole, have been lied to by church organizations, by religion, by teachings skewed, bartered, twisted, and manipulated for Patriarchy.

A woman should be treated with kindness, respect, and dignity.

Matthew 7:12 “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

This, dear treasures, is NOT meant to slander the church as a whole...it is meant as a wake-up call as most, yes most, churches still adhere to women being less-than <<<<<

Seen, but not heard...and above all else be modest, do not adorn, do not call attention...

You see where I am heading with this line of thinking.

I believe we are entering a time where God is going to shake the foundations of biblical teachings and theories.

A time where women are no longer subjugated, ignored, silenced, assaulted, all under the law of religion and of government.

A time where what has been covered, protected and silenced, will come to light. Blown wide open by those no longer willing to stand idly by, voicing aloud the darkness hidden within church walls and standing at podiums.

These words are not meant to harm, are not meant to 'out' the man/men in my life.

They are meant to warn, to alert, to create a thinking mindset of independence and grace, to mightily encourage each and every woman experiencing abuse to stand and walk away.

Not for reconciliation, no. For mental health. For love, for basic human kindness for the child/woman who has suffered at the hands of men and wrongly believes it is her lot in life,

it's what she deserves.

Bollocks to that.

We...we women are worthy of all that God has promised.

Safety...love...compassion...grace...mercy...hope...

Stand tall dear hearts and hold your head high for you are a child of God and worthy of all that is good and lovely.

Walk steady, choose wisely the path that leads to freedom of oppression, of abuse.