Truly...Madly...Deeply

Truly...it is a morning for revelation...for truth...

The truth is....

It was all a lie...

The truth is...

He used you...

for your warmth, for your love, for your belief in the lie, in him...

The truth is...

You were always too good for him....

from the moment you met to the day you ran, every word spoken, every promise given..a lie.

The truth is...

Love doesn't conquer all...

love covers a multitude of sins, until it doesn't, until every drop of emotion is used up.

The truth is...

He didn't give up...he didn't put in.

from the beginning it was a game, a game to see how many women he could get.

The truth is....

You made a mistake....

in believing in someone who didn't exist, in believing the lies, in giving to a taker.

The truth is hella harsh....cut and dried...black and white....

No greys...no muted tones/undertones...no hidden sparkly gem within the stunted child.

That sad little boy within the man...he exists, this I believe...the narcissist doesn't just call on and use your emotions, he taps into the boy that was....the boy that still believed, the boy that loved.

And then squashes and traumatizes that stunted child again, and again...over and over...

He, the abuser, continues to abase and shame that child within, creating a continuous spiral of hope and crushing disappointment that THEY create. Self-sabotage at its finest.

The hurt is real...the disappointment keen...and the blame is placed on the current victim.

Faced with childhood issues, the victim/survivor walks unknowingly into a minefield of bouncing Betty's....one click, one misstep and you have a lift-off so explosive that you carry shrapnel for days, numb and in shock.

And make no mistake dear friends...the heart strings are pulled, yanked, misled....

Your heart breaks for the pitiful child within....why? Because every empath has a backstory...has a history, one that resonates and twangs when faced with anothers pain.

We feel their pain, we know that particular brand of heartache...

Here is where we differ...we choose life, we choose hope and love....we choose to give.

But...the truth is...

It is all a lie...

That small child within has no voice, no recourse, no way out....unless the abuser wishes to truly find help, to let those memories surface for healing...not for vengeance, not to wreak havoc upon the female population...constantly paying for the mistakes and trauma perpetrated upon their person at such a young age.

Dear dear friends, I pray you hear my heart in the words I write....

You are worthy of someone who is willing to acknowledge the pain they have caused...

You are worthy of someone who is ready to delve into the ugliness that was their childhood.

You are worthy of someone who is man enough to not only admit to his wrongdoing, but change it.

You are worthy of someone who wants to love you, and only you.

You are worthy of a man who knows about loyalty, truthfulness and commitment.

The truth is....

You must live your life with purpose, for you... the right man/woman will come along and slide neatly into place...accentuating your world, adding to your life and not subtracting...

Giving...instead of taking...

Giving...instead of controlling...

Giving...instead of stealing from you...

My brother once told me something and because of the level of respect I have for his word, I believed him. He said this...

'if Julie were to leave me and take the children, I would live in a shack and give her everything. I don't care where I live, only that my children are taken care of and happy. I don't care where I am as long as the ones I love are well, including my wife.'

Happily married for 38 years....He's not perfect, but he gives...and walks the talk, keeps his word and if he cannot he has a really really good reason.

The Truth is...

We must find our peace and purpose in giving to those who truly need our care and more....want it.

The Truth is...

We must become our own best friend, ally and lover...

We must work on our own inner child, our own trauma...

We must....

Our sanity is at stake and demands it....

Go with God today and everyday...May His Face shine upon you wherever you are, however you are...no matter how low, no matter how high....no matter how far you feel from His love, or anyones....You are seen, and heard and known.

'For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth,nor anything else in all creation,will be ableto separate us from the love of God...' Romans 8:39

Walk softly...and carry a big stick...

Talk softly...and carry a big stick...

Speak your truth dear hearts...gently, kindly and compassionately, but speak your truth.