Confession...

...is good for the soul they say...who exactly are they? The church long back in history taking a proverb or perhaps from James and John who spoke of 'confessing our sins' to cleanse ourselves. I sit and ponder this morning as I sip my hot cup of heaven with animals present and all enjoying the heat of the wood stove on such a nippy rising of dawn.

I have much to ruminate on and yet one tidbit of a conversation, again from a person in a position which would predilect a knowledge of trauma do's and don'ts, say and don't say...lest you set off an avalanche of emotion, flashback, and anger, the justified kind..the kind that is an inherent part of our makeup and indicates boundaries being crossed, gives us the heads up something is not right, not good.

So, this tidbit...I will not relate the exact conversation, nor the shocked stasis I entered even as I responded and challenged the statement. There is SO much wrong with the system that I fear it will take a good many years to fix, if ever that becomes a fact, a process.

Part of the problem, a good portion, is the people in place....not them specifically, well perhaps as certain personalities hire on for these positions, however that is a topic for another day...no, it is human to err...it is human to be swayed, charmed, bullied, battered at, or the worst, exhibit apathetic attitudes.

Not my problem...doesn't enter in their consciousness that it is everyone's problem. If this is inherent in our society, as it is, it spells issues for all concerned. It does not end there, it extends out into society, reaching arms of evil intentions out and out and out into many other criminal avenues. You see dear hearts, these monsters are not single sided, two-dimensional creatures, on the contrary, they often times are intelligent, creative beings capable of extending those thoughts of domination and control into other areas of life.

I speak today of shaming, blaming, cajoling, victims/survivors into believing they MUST just trust in the process, in the system.

Ironically in the hands of one who we both spoke of dropping the ball consistently with the women that show up in his docket.

I speak today of placing responsibility on the victim/survivor to be once again the 'bigger person.' I read something on that the other day...how ridiculous to place that weight of the heavens on the shoulders of one who has already freaking borne mountains and mountains, oceans deep and deeper still, on their traumatized shoulders.

That isn't being the bigger person...the better person...no, that is accepting responsibility, accountability for someone and something that is not yours to take on.

Once again...no. No more dear lost ones, dear treasures...no more staying silent, placing hand over mouth and heart...no more pushing down, tamping down the healing anger...

No more staying silent....no, we shall stand and speak on what is uncomfortable...God knows it sure as hell is for the victim to stand and speak, for the survivor to highlight the shit storm they had lived for so long...

Oh hell yes, we'd love to bury that crap...ten feet down with no hope of ever reviving...love to forget the person involved and the feelings they worked on, built on, and ultimately tore down....be happy to dash that from the memory banks, strip those scars away to reveal new flesh, whole and healed....

Unfortunately the brain and heart do not deal in forgetting for long...they do not deal in dismissing trauma nor burying it never to be seen or spoken of again.

That crap rises to the surface, clings there in hopes of being seen and heard until sinking once again for a time. Each time it comes to the surface though dear hearts, it will come faster, hit harder and more violently until it is put to rest. Until we view it, scream and cry over it, and let it fall to the ground to mix amongst the dirt and the bugs and the filth where it belongs.

I am amazed at how often these things come up in conversation...constantly shocked at how often women and men share stories of violence, of abuse, of toxicity and the fallout.

The walking wounded are among us...reach a hand to the left, to the right, behind and in front and you will touch at least two who are affected daily by abuse. The statistics are there...and each time I sit in conversation with someone the degrees of separation are ridiculously low...

It is an epidemic....and growing rapidly. Don't believe me? Take a day to sit in the courthouse...take an hour...you will hear more than you thought possible, let alone probable.

All this ruminating brought me to the conclusion that once again I must stand alone on my principles, even at times with those educated and tasked with roles in services you would not be remiss in expecting understanding and trauma informed speech.

We stand, we speak and we take time for patience and fortitude in the face of ignorance, confusion, and exertion of control and censoring. We must dear hearts, it is time to speak our truth, with grace, with kindness and compassion, with dignity....but speak it we will.

Go with God today friends and each day forward, in the knowledge that He is with you always...His love never fails nor changes....He is love and love saves....

He gives strength to the weary, courage to the fearful, and life to dry bones....

He sets feet in high places, on firm foundations of love, hope, faith, and peace....

Peace, my dear treasures, is not something that just falls into place, no, it must be fought for with force, with intention, with determination.

“Peace does not come just because we wish for it. Peace must be fought for. It must be built stone by stone.”

— Lyndon B. Johnson

Stone by stone my friends...rock by rock...let us have peace and freedom from fear. Let us educate those around us with love, with patience, with passion.